Live and let Die (1973)

Three killings in the opening, one of which the legendary New Orleans jazz funeral-murder. A most fine entrance for Roger Moore. If not for the voodoo-scene, that has not survived the test of time. No Roger Moore, though

When he does appear, it's with a beautiful woman, fine coffee (probably a homage to Len Deighton's Harry Palmer) and trying hard not show M the former. The brilliant Bernard Lee is perfect at his most surly, and that he certainly is over Bond's shenanigans.

Moore doesn't have the raw machismo as Connery, and could never shoot an unarmed man in the back. Hence this instalment is played rather light. The problem with the mood in general is that when you spice it up with 2 henchmen that giggle incessantly, generally overact and prance around like maniacs, topped with Pepper, there really isn't much seriousness left.

That Bond drives and double-decker and races around a small airport in an even smaller aircraft, just adds injury to insult. There is a rather lengthy boat-chase with some decent stunts, though littered with aforementioned Pepper.

The characters are mostly props in this rather shallow flick, so it's refreshing that Seymour makes the most of her part, showing silent and dignified desperation and fear, as well as stoic strength and stubbornness in the face of danger. One of the best Bond-girls.

Barry has been better, but he does have a nice new theme for us. Most considerate.

The film does have the exotic locations, a shark tank and gives a thorough insight, though somewhat racist in today's world, into New Orleans and jazz-clubs. Tee Hee's little speech amongst the crocodiles is quite good, and the tension is at times well above average. But at this point, it seems like the franchise is struggling to settle with what it wants to be, and very much like the poster, this film is rather chaotic.

5/10

Best car used: 1972 Chevrolet Impala Sport
Most memorable drink served: Bollinger, vintage not given
Henchmen: Julius Harris as Tee Hee. Most gleefully evil.
Villain: Yaphet Kotto as Mr. Big. Very forgettable.
Best one-liner: "He always did have an inflated opinion of himself"
Song: Wings - Live and Let Die. A most dramatic and cool tune.
Bond-girl: Jane Seymour. Hard to be more beautiful. Perhaps a bit demure, but undoubtedly a good actress.

Diamonds are forever (1971)

Though George Lazenby probably was underrated, he was certainly no Sean Connery. So the studio threw a pile of money at Connery and persuaded him to don the 00-digit one last time. Was it worth the splash?

Well the introduction is fine as he punches his way towards Blofeld, including strangling a pretty girl with her on bikini. Most determined man. He even kills Blofeld before the vignette (we're led to believe).

The henchmen are quite delectable this time around as Putter Smith and Bruce Glover kill with indiscriminately with a sly smile and more puns than Bond by a mile. Glover speaks slow and meticulously, with exaggerated facial motions, whereas Smith has a rather daft grin on his face. Most worthy opponents.

The action is all right, but as with most things, less is often more, as the best scene is a two-man brawl in an elevator. And there are quite a few attempts at killing here (mostly successful as Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint are most efficient and love their jobs). No real set-pieces apart from the end-game, just a very cool stunt with the Mustang. As this is mostly set in Las Vegas in the early seventies, there is no shortage of big, beautiful American cars.

Blofeld is played by Charles Grey (he actually had a small role in YOLT, most unusual). His British arrogance impeccable, but the menace of Donald Pleasance is most missed. Particularly when he's losing. He has plenty of swagger, but not any real threat. That is probably the reason why there is no real fight between him and Bond, only tinkering with toys of threat, whoever is in charge.

The tone of the film is mostly light. There are some great expressions from Connery as he struggles to fathom the stupidity of human kind, St. John plays it very light and the name Plenty O'Toole also sets a bar.

Barry's score is good, and the theme for the henchmen is spot on. Sneaky and a bit strange but with a steady beat.

This flick never gets the feeling of a true Bond. There is much murdering and sneakyness, the car and the women are there, but the suspense and grandeur not so much.

6/10

Best car used: Ford Mustang Mach 1 (1971) (though the moon-buggy is great fun)
Most memorable drink served: Sherry Solera, 1851.
Henchmen: Mr. Kidd & Mr Wint. A gay couple. Most peculiar pair (particularly Putter Smith who was specifically cast for his appearance)
Villain: Ernest Stavro Blofeld.
Best one-liner: "Provided the collars and cuffs match"
Song: Diamonds are forever, Shirley Bassey. Dramatic, but the dull synth-riff does it no good. Bassey tries her hardest, though.
Bond-girl: Jill St. John. Nowhere near the most memorable apart from the fact that she wears about 5 different sets of lingerie in the first half of the film.

On her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

It's said that you should never start a lecture by making excuses as it shines a spotlight to your shortcomings, and perhaps even unnecessarily. So having the first non-Connery Bond look straight into the camera and say "This never happened to the other fellow" is perhaps not a stroke of genius. Other than that the intro is decent, showing off some good bare-knuckled fighting from Lazenby. This is the first (and still only) flick not to have the film's song after the intro. Barry is utterly at his best here, so it's fine.

Diana Rigg was the first established actor to play a Bond-girl as the producers felt they needed to balance out the inexperienced Lazenby. And it fits perfectly as Lazenby can't pull off Connery's raw sexuality, hence it fits him better with a cold, arrogant woman he has to chase for most of the film. Rigg has the upper hand most of the time, despite Bond bailing her out regularly. Lazenby is a bit on the stiff side (his alter ego Edmund Hillary works well in that respect), so false courtesy and genuine patience is a most fitting way for him to get his best chemistry. Though Connery is missed at times, it seems harsh not to give his replacement more than one attempt. Lazenby is nowhere near as macho and naturally threatening as Connery, playing it more with mirth and cool. Closer to to what Roger Moore would provide later.

The script is in part a love-story as Teresa doesn't need the exciting, flamboyant Bond. She needs the calmly dominant and stoic Bond and as he wears her down, she finds the anchor in her life she's been seeking. Surely not written that way by the misogynistic Fleming. For further evidence, witness the early montage with love-soaked lyrics from Armstrong and the foolish grins on the lovers. She does disappear for the better part of an hour, though, disturbing the flow.

So the plot is fittingly ridiculous, the action is very good (bobsleigh anyone?) and there are some cool set-ups (though one stolen from "The Ipcress Files". The cutting is a bit jagged and frantic at times, but that was common in the day. Worse is the editing. Apart from the ending, it has a lighter tone in both humour and flirtations.

OHMSS is the only Bond-film to end on a sad note, making it the perfect entrance for Satchmo's brilliant ballad. An end to remember, with a shattered Bond in disbelief.

At 142 minutes, it was by a distance the longest Bond-film, and the pace suffers a bit as a consequence. It doesn't help it that the action is a bit unevenly distributed. Still, it's a different instalment in the franchise and an underrated one at that.

7/10

Best car used: 1968 Aston Martin DBS (The Mercury Cougar is a thing of beauty, though)
Most memorable drink served: Dom Perignon '57 and a dry Martini, shaken not stirred
Henchmen: Irma Bunt. Short, ugly women are never good for Bond. Not really a problem for Bond until the final scene.
Villain: Telly Savalas as Blofeld. Seems much more pompous than Pleasance, and much, much less threatening.
Best one-liner: "Just a slight stiffness coming on"
Song: "We have all the time in the world" by Louis Armstrong. A dwelling, sad ballad. Fantastic.
Bond-Girl: Diana Rigg. The first to really have her own character. And she does make a meal of it. Wonderfully playful, fragile and headstrong.

You only Live Twice (1967)

So finally they managed to use 2 years to make the next one. Perhaps Barry's best theme introduces the plot to space. One of the finest openings, as it is slow, methodical and filled with extreme tension as a result. Actually, Bond doesn't appear before in the third scene, as some old politicians needs to give the viewer an insight as to what is at stake. Expertedly done by director Lewis Gilbert.

As it is set in Japan, and that was very exotic at the time, we are of course treated to all the stereotypes. Sumo-wrestling, kimonos, bamboo, paper walls, sake, some very original methods of assassination, and ninjas of course.

Charles Gray is a very good contact point (pun intended) actually good enough to be recalled as Blofeld in "Diamonds are forever", and Donald Pleasence an excellent villain, even helping develop the legendary scar. His voice is slow and deliberate. The only way to measure his emotions is by how he's stroking his cat. Fantastic. And therefore a bit of a treat when we get to see his face right towards the end after only having heard his voice and seen his hand (and cat) so far in both he film and the franchise.

Tanba has fine chemistry with Connery, which is necessary as Wakabayashi is a bit demure for Bond and makes you miss Blackman. Though at least she is very direct as to making her relationship with Bond a physical one at an early stage, and saves his life twice. Llewellyn is in no form for Bonds childishness here, and that leaves the banter unused. But as he brings Little Nellie, we forgive him. Maxwell's flirt with Bond is pitch perfect this time around, and she even has him on defence for a split second.

They seemed to have spent a bit more time writing dialogue this time, and there is plenty of light-hearted puns and some cute misses at the English language from our Japanese friends (She is very sexyful). The scene with Tanaka and Bond as he is presented with potential wives is without a word and yet hilarious. The plot is also on the plus-side, as it is highly politically relevant and in that respect quite believable.

So the tension is good, the banter varying, the action much improved in 2 years, and the henchmen are useless. And there's nothing wrong with an epic ending with a 100 ninjas attacking a volcano base. No, no.

7/10

Best car used: Toyota 2000GT (though Bond never drives any car himself in this flick)
Most memorable drink served: Dry Martini, stirred not shaken. Bond lies well. Also Dom Perignon 59
Henchmen: Helga Brandt. Sexy, but not really menacing. Osato. A businessman. No threat other than to send swarms of thugs.
Villain: Ernest Stavro Blofeld. And Pleasence set a bar later actors would struggle to follow up.
Best one-liner: "Just a drop in the ocean"
Song: You only live Twice. Nancy Sinatra. A beautiful theme, but lacks the sass and virility from former instalments, partly because there is no big brass-section and her voice lacks the sheer power of her predecessors.
Bond-girl: Akiko Wakabayashi. Not particularly good as she lacks a bit of the "bad girl" and sheer power by presence the best have.

Thunderball (1965)

Bond whispering at a funeral... How unlike him and mundane. But wait! The man wasn't dead and a big fight ensues! And off by jet-pack it is, straight to the beloved Aston Martin (and a beautiful woman of course). All in a few minutes Much, much better. Generally, there is a lot of assassinations and attempted such the first 30 minutes.

Director Terence Young takes a bit of effort trying to let us get to know SPECTRE, and succeeds in showing them as an extremely callous organization, highly structured with much loyalty demanded, and absolutely no slip-ups tolerated. Under penalty of death. The problem with it is that Largo seems a bit weak compared to the actions of the not-seen Blofeld. He does feed failures to sharks though, and that is a most wanted trait in a villain. Particularly when he would much rather use them to give Bond a chance to escape instead of just shooting him. 

Bernard Lee gets a bit more meat on the bone as M, with high-ranking politicians involved, showing a fierce loyalty towards Bond, when he's not there. Connery seems a bit bored this time around, and particularly his flirting is off. He even has to blackmail himself to the first round. His interaction with Adolfo Celi as Largo in a card-game (thankfully no more golf) is impeccable, though. 

Somehow the special effects seem poorer than previous instalments, and particularly the action-scenes seem to have been done at 1.25 of regular speed, making them seem a bit silly. Thunderball does well on mystique, tension and the spy-like sneaking about though. And Barry has a magnificent score to help along. Pay particular attention to the build-up to Volpe's death. Masterful suspense. 

The real treat of this instalment however, is the underwater scenes. Whether the huge underwater battle (epic for its time) or just Bond and girls swimming with turtles, they are astonishing.

So it doesn't have the same charm as the two that preceded it, but it's still a solid piece of work

7/10

Best car used: Aston Martin DB5

Most memorable drink served: Dom Perignon 55.

Henchmen: Fiona Volpe, a beautiful but somewhat easy to forget character that dies rather early. 

Villain: SPECTRE number 2, Maximilian Largo

Best one-liner. "I think he got the point"

Song: Tom Jones. The big voice from Wales with a big brass section to dramatic effect. One of the best. 

Bond-girl: Claudine Auger as Domino. Seems a bit of a continuation of Tilly Masterson from "Goldfinger". Not particularly memorable

Goldfinger (1964)

Bond in scuba-gear emerging from the water, killing a guard, climbing a castle wall and planting a massive amount of explosives, before stripping straight to a tuxedo and entering a party. Was there ever a more fitting start to a Bond-flick. Naturally, there is time for a girl and a brawl before the vignette.

One of the first actions of Bond is to piss off Goldfinger (who was the first to have a golden gun) in a most petty and unnecessary way. Though this time it comes at a cost as it directly leads to the infamous death of Jill Masterson.

Connery is his usual flamboyantly deadly self, and most flirtatious, first with Lois Maxwell as Moneypenny in a very entertaining scene. The gem of his chemistry is the stable-scene with Honor Blackman though. Fröbe is an absolute treat with Blackman the resourceful, but persuadable damsel we've come to enjoy. The idea of a functioning mute with a deadly accurate hat is amazing and Sakata does it marvellously (and has great expressions and an even better death).

This flick also is the first to show off the Q-branch apart from just Q himself. As Q gives Bond a lot more information than he wants, Bond brings out the petulant child in his character, starting the banter that would carry on for decades.

Instead of a decent game of gambling, Bond and Goldfinger have a game of golf. As usual the villain will cheat and Bond will outsmart them. Despite Goldfingers pants, this game of golf is actually quite worthy of your time. He does get back at him with the legendary: "No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die" though. Not to mention setting the perfect example for an unnecessarily elaborate death to be escaped.

The plot is of course nonsensical (though Fröbe and Connery really sells it in a delightful scene), even for a Bond-film, but it all makes sense nonetheless, to the extent it has to. Director Hamilton finds a wonderful pace, with just the right blend of action, plot and tension. The car chases are immense, the gadgets inventive and effective, and it has a great villain, henchman and love interest with a fantastic score to boot. And there are still some moments of good old cleverness and detective-work, as all spy-movies should have. After "FRWL" and this, it would take 50 years before they managed to make something as good as this for Bond.

9/10

Best car used: Aston Martin DB5. There never was a better Bond-vehicle
Most memorable drink served: Dom Perignon 53, but also his signature Dry Martini. (Mis)treated to a Mint Julep.
Henchmen: Harold Sakata as Oddjob is one of the finest and most beloved henchmen with his deadly bowler.
Villain: Gert Fröbe as Auric Goldfinger. Dubbed but still one of the more memorable.
Best one-liner: "Shocking. Positively shocking"
Song: Shirley Bassey. "Goldfinger". There was hardly a better match than Bassey and Barry. And this is their best collaboration. Perhaps the best of the entire series.
Bond-girl: Honor Blackman is a straight 10. Sexy, deadly and seductive like none other.

From Russia with Love (1963)

A live training assassination by a vicious blond thug in the shape of Richard Shaw as Grant. Eeeeeexcellent intro.

To have a henchman introduced by winning at chess, is also a stroke of genius. Particularly as he is so brilliant at it that he can win whenever it suits him. And it does give credence to what is one of the finest plots of the franchise. To top off the list of henchmen with the little, but lethal Rosa Klebb, just shows how strong an instalment this is.

The characters in general have much more meat on the bone, and makes the movie as such all the stronger in most scenes, giving it many legs to stand on. Even Bonds helper, Kerim Bey, is a fine part, with his own life, wisdom, pride and agenda played to perfection by Pedro Armendariz. Armendariz, sadly, died before the film's release.

The film furthermore has the debut of Desmond Llewellyn as Q (with very fun gadgets) and something as rare as a re-occurring love interest from the previous instalment in Sylvia Trench. Connery is growing into the part, finding a better balance in a movie that is, on the whole, more serious and dark than Dr. No.

As usual there is stunning, exotic scenery. The scenes from the gypsy camp are, of course, legend. And at least what they're cracked up to be. There never was a better and more intense catfight than here and the gunfight and melee that ensues is top notch for its time.

FRWL takes place in the sixties, and naturally there are plenty of dark alleys, secret meetings taking place in dark corners of busy buildings and many shadows lurking. All done expertedly and mostly with huge suspense.

The action is also state of the art, the fight-sequence between Shaw and Connery a particular highlight, that would set the bar for later fights. A claustrophobic fight in a dark, small room between two grown men with knives and garrottes. That they rip off North by Northwest towards the end must be forgiven, as the last fight with Klebb is fantastic. The little maid with the poisonous shoe-tip being fought off by Bond and a chair. You can't make this shit up.

9/10

Best car used: 1935 Bentley Drophead coupe. Bond never drives any car though.
Memorable drink served: None
Henchmen: Grant, Klebb, Kronsteen. Perhaps the best of the series
Villain: Blofeld, though never visible apart from the petting of the cat.
Best one-liner: She should have kept her mouth shut
Song: Matt Monroe - Fantastic bit of crooning, perfect for Barry's sound
Bond-girl: Daniela Bianchi - A bit demure but utterly lovely and actually a rare feature as she is an integral part of the plot.

Dr. No (1962)

Ah. The majestic riff of John Barry (Or Monty Norman, I won't get into that here). Was there ever such a defining piece of music? And let me answer that for you: No.

The "Three Blind Mice" makes for a riveting introduction and with a swift assassination at a very exotic location, we are off to a good start. With Bond introduced gambling, stating his name only his second line. Genius.

Connery is suave on the verge of comedy seen in these days, but his appeal and danger are both undeniable from the first scene. Charming when it suits him, violent and deadly to men and women alike when he has to be. He even shoots an unarmed man from point blank. Truly the killer Ian Fleming created. Not to mention ridiculously flirtatious.

The introduction of characters is generally fantastic here, and the Bond-Girl Honey Rider (Ursula Andress) is the stuff of legend. So great they made a remake with Halle Berry 40 years later. Even for an early Bond-girl, she is a spunky one. She is introduced too late to make any impact though, and mostly strengthens the feeling that all characters are props for 007 to shine as different henchmen and girls (some both) come and go.

As a villain Dr. No is introduced in a futuristic and strange room only through a calm and callous voice. As most early villains he is very courteous until Bond starts provoking him, but Dr. No doesn't really fall for Bond's petulant attempts. Joseph Wiseman plays him with great stoicism. 

Made in 1962, this flick still has plenty of low-tech smartness that Bond uses throughout and with the recent explosion (pun intended) of CGI instead of script, it's quite titillating for the brain to see a spy that's actually smart and thinking on his feet. It doesn't have the set-pieces Bond-flicks were later known for but there is suspense and action in decent doses.

It has some pace-issues at times, but all in all this is a fine start to perhaps the most successful franchise in Hollywood to date.

And in closing: What's Bond without a bit of trivia?

Best car used: 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air
Best drink served: Medium dry martini, lemon peeled, mixed, not stirred
Henchman: No one of note
Villain: Dr. No representing SPECTRE
Best one-liner: "That's a Smith & Wesson. And you've had your six."
Bond-girl: As good as they come.

7/10

Logan (2017)

The trailer was one of bleakest things I've ever seen and very bold with its low pace and depressingly sad tune. So does it deliver as promised? To an almost startling degree. General and extreme spoiler-alert.

It starts off with an utterly run down Wolverine, dishing out some worryingly brutal force, though far from with his usual panache and confidence. More like a force of habit, and because it is all he knows. Wolverine, as ever, the hero that tries so hard not to be, but always seems to be in the wrong place at the right time, helping the right people. Then, entrance Professor X. A shadow of himself, rapidly losing his mind and being cared for by Wolverine in an old factory, helped only by the aesthetically and otherwise shadow of a man, Caliban. All friends are gone. There are no uniforms, no air-planes and certainly no usable powers to speak of between them.  Only the prospect of scraping together money and medicine in a dusty outworld. Then it all gets much, much worse.

The introduction of Dafne Keen as Logan's daughter-in-genes and the dignified optimism of Patrick Stewart carries a glimmer of hope, particularly in a sweet scene with a mid-west family, but it is all taken away as one of the most beloved characters in Marvel is stabbed to death in a heartbeat. No honour, no dignity. Just cold death.

This flick is absurdly violent for its pace and it sets up the depressing mood perfectly. The violence is disturbing and uncomfortable to watch, director Mangold taking full usage of his R-rating. Mangold has full focus on making superhero-violence as bloody and realistic as possible, only trying to be cool once (and succeeding). From start to finish (with the two aforementioned exceptions) this film is quite frankly hard to stomach. The wounds are scarily real, with both Stewart and Jackman having bloodshot eyes in almost every scene and generally look ready for death physically and mentally.

Jackman has played this part so many times, he can probably sleepwalk it. But he does, like his character, have enough in him for one last push, one desperate attempt at redemption. His somewhat tired and subdued rage blending with the occasional extreme desperation and lack of hope. Stewart never could avoid being brilliant and Keen is just the perfect blend of disturbed, seeking and bitter. Holbrook is a bit dull though.

The pace is much slower than we've gotten used to lately and Mangold has great patience with his story and characters, few as they may be. It works a charm. The general slow pace makes the suspense much better, and has the viewer on very uncomfortable pins and needles as the plight of the protagonists hit you. None more than the last scene of Jackman and Keen. Wolverine his rugged, cold self until the last but two seconds. Another devastating scene to witness.

Combined with the sheer emotional fatigue of so much hopelessness, evil, despair, brutality and sacrifice, it's a film that is as easy to love as it's painful to watch.

9/10

The Children Act (2017)

When BBC produces a film, you certainly would expect it to be something others would be unwilling to pay for. And that it is.

For me, it's enthralling in today's filmmaking that it is ridiculously slow-paced. Director Eyre has no qualms with lingering, making the best of his excellent cast. Regularly, he will use several seconds more than usual to show someone walk down a hall, think, remove their shoes or other seemingly insignificant actions. If you pay attention though, they are nowhere near that. Today, when films are mostly exhausting to watch, due to the extreme pace, BBC's money has certainly allowed Eyre to be brave, making something that forces the audience to show patience and attention.

The cast is delectable. Emma Thompson excels as the workaholic, that has lost touch with her surroundings as she delves ever deeper into her work. Stanley Tucci is a very underrated actor, and is perfect as the husband that tries so hard to get his marriage and wife back. Eyre never falls for the temptation of making him a stereotype, cheating bastard, and Tucci delivers a marvellous character, with his own shortcomings, but a highly understandable attitude towards his estranged marriage. This is by far the best element of the film.

Unfortunately it all takes a somewhat strange backseat as Thompson meets a patient over which she has to give ruling (The very good Ben Chaplin). Their first scene together is brilliant, but after a while, their relationship fails to really find its way or relevance, leaving you wondering what Eyre is trying to show or learns us.

The story is also brave in the sense that if you've watched many movies earlier, you think you know what the next logical step is. But Eyre is not interested in any of that. Leaving some viewers feeling cheated, whereas the rest of us like that not every film has to take the same direction when dealing with the same issue.

So all in all, it has a fantastic slow pace that allows you a different experience from mainstream these days. And Jason Watkins provides the most British comical relief in decades. Many hats off to him.

It doesn't quite seem to find it's theme though. After an enthralling start, it takes a left turn, and doesn't really find it's way back.

7/10

Ocean's Eight (2018)

So after 20 years of George Clooney as Danny Ocean, is this a cool, liberating version with women showing they’re just as good? Or a hash instalment made of left-over scripts to beat the last pennies out of a concept that should have been buried?

It’s the latter, unfortunately, and all women should be a bit insulted.

First of all. Where is the chemistry? There isn’t a single pairing here that sizzles on screen. At first glance it appears that they try to establish a homoerotic connection between Bullock and Blanchett, but as they wanted to market this film as strong women doing just as good what men (apparently) do, they wisely chose to lay off that one. The laziness of the script is sincere at all corners. If you ever saw any other film, there will be no script grip you haven't seen hundreds of times before.

And the marketing department really made the director their bitch here. Bullock and Blanchett are sellable as big names as well as brilliant actresses. Other than that they seem to cast by race to appeal to all viewers and throw in Rihanna as her fans are probably willing to accept anything. And you just know they have to show off everyone (including the two that seem to frown upon such things) in beautiful dresses. Even when it makes a direct whole in the plot. I don’t see how more women in dresses at parties are empowering as the add promises. And not a single one of the characters get enough of a background to make them particularly interesting, Sarah Paulson’s Tammy particularly lazily written.

I heard some pre-teen girls giggle behind me a couple of times, and I can remember snickering and grinning twice myself. Other than that, the humour is well below adequate. And with the cast they had, why would they not trust them to make jokes? The original excelled on snappy, smart dialogue that made the film a constant grin. There is nothing in the script here to give the girls a chance to keep that going. And whereas the men’s instalments had revenge of an economic nature, the girl is of course “a woman scorned”. Another poor stereotype. Horribly written and told without any logic or depth. And I understand that this is not a film about depth. But it should be deep enough for a chihuahua to wet its tongue.

And of course, when the heist (undeniably cool and slick) is over, the franchise is true to itself with two very unnecessary twists whereof one is daft and the other is only a surprise for people who have never seen a caper-film before, or are simply too stupid to recognize a pattern. And they saved every good line for James Corden, as he appears very late in the game.

The soundtrack is mostly awful, with a horrid version of “These Boots are made for Walking” a low-point. Other than that it’s mostly overly “cool” and exhausting jazz with some annoying rhythm. A couple of cool tracks, more inspired by baroque and 60’s synth do appear though.

In the name of equality; I hope the female stars got paid as much as the men did. Because the script and direction certainly made them work for it. Hollywood’s finest actresses (and all the others on display here) deserve better than a franchise milked dry by older men.

If you want strong women and cool theft, you’re infinitely much better off with Rene Russo in “The Thomas Crown Affair”.

3/10

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)

From a dramatic intro to a bleak one as Rickman stands alone on Hogwarts watching his docile masses. And not a word uttered in the two first scenes, nor early in the third as Radcliffe sits silently by the grave of another friend. 

There are still some logical flaws (why would Hermione refuse to show Bellatrix' wand to the goblins, when Harry showed it to Olliwander only two scenes earlier?) but I suppose in a franchise like this, that is nitpicking. This last instalment is an absolute treat, though the film did miss out on a top score due to the lacklustre scene "19 years later", which is too unnecessary to be overlooked.

The set-pieces are back in style here, and the escape from Gringotts with the sun-shy dragon an early highpoint. CGI has improved vastly since the first instalment and director Yates takes full advantage. The final battle for Hogwarts is stunning, though perhaps no one will ever improve upon Peter Jackson in that respect. The wands attacking Hogwarts is a more original and majestic moment though. The battle does have an outstanding introduction in music through Desplat and a fantastic moment from Maggie Smith, who portrays childish glee in a tired and scared old professor as the dire situation is clear for all to see. Piertotum Locomotor indeed.

It is the balance with the fates of the characters that make this franchise so endearing though and in the darkness that is this film, Harry's conversation with Aberforth is a gem. Watson is still fantastic at subtlety, whereas Grint and Radcliffe act more with broader strokes Little makes you miss the late, great Rickman like his death-scene in which the full truth of Severus Snape is finally unveiled. He plays his own death all human, close and solemn, with such a wealth of loss and commitment, whereas his reaction to his one love's death is devastating, dramatic and inconsolable. Two beautifully directed scenes where the music starts just as Snape ends.

A last hoorah: Unlike Michael Bay, David Yates actually has a knack for subtle. He does not need to explain every little detail, leaving little discoveries to the viewer as well. A most welcome trait in a director, something that happens less for every year it appears.

And as the carnage ends, and the dust settles with an author who has no qualms with killing off beloved characters at every turn, there is still time for one last tense, enthralling one-on-one to end one of the finest franchises put to film.

9/10

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)

To start off with a facial close-up of Bill Nighy is rarely wrong. To follow up with a dark (both literal and metaphorically) montage of the devastation of consequences is outstanding. Grey filters galore and a haunting score from the excellent Alexandre Desplat as Rickman and Fiennes show us that these are dark times indeed. Hell, even Bellatrix manages to restrain herself around Voldemort. Within minutes both Hedwig, Mad-Eye and Burbage are dead, and the most thrilling broom-chase of the franchise has enthralled us. And we've hardly started.

The dialogue between the early action is solemn and quiet (apart from the Weasley-twins of course, always a cheery couple), words and silence both lingering, making it intentionally uncomfortable viewing.

A huge leap in both the film's development, and quite literally, occurs as our three friends enter the woods in search of horcruxes. The start of a quest if you will. This part feels a bit much "Frodo" as wearing the horcrux they actually have, leaves them tired and angry (Besides, to top it, the horcrux tries to drown Harry). Watson plays the part of Samwise Gamgee as the boys take turn acting out in anger or deep paranoia (Grint only). Thankfully both Grint and Radcliffe now own their parts enough to keep it realistic. And when all seem as darkest, they pull out a gem of a scene where ironically, a Nick Cave-song brings light and a glimpse of joy.

Director Yeates blends the everyday life of the characters very nicely with the frantic pace of the plot. Stopping to show tenderness and learning at nice intervals. Furthermore, the political aspect is upped as Voldemort seizes control over an increasingly fascist Ministry. On the bright side, this along with the smaller part she plays, makes Umbridge bearable this time around. Furthermore, this instalment has more clever puzzles, leaving us to feel the joy and pride of the kids as they advance closer to the solution they yearn for.

But with Gambon gone and Rickman marginalized, you are left missing something from time to time. Though Michael Byrne makes more out of 10 seconds than most. The kids are old and good enough to carry this, but shouldn't have to when you've used so much time building so many fantastic characters. The dark mood is perfectly compelling, but the film is best in the first hour, apart from the wonderful slo-mo scene that sets up Dobby's death. Not to mention the brilliant cliffhanger.

8/10

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

An introduction so dark that the first seconds are in black and white. Cue attack by death eaters on muggles and wizards alike, with a haunting score from Nicholas Hooper. Now this is something entirely different.

David Yeates wants us to be in no doubt that these are dark times. The filters are wildly grey and brown from the off (at times almost completely devoid of colours), and Dumbledore speaks low and emotionless.

The new guy on the block this time is Jim Broadbent. Not a great character as he is a bit of a buffoon, but he has a drunken beauty of a soliloquy at a crucial point. A wonderful story, told with the perfect blend of happy reminiscence  and bottomless regret.

Watson is still rock solid as the sassy, resourceful young witch, but her clear discomfort at an unwanted suitor is acting at a very high level for her age. Watch it and grin. After having been a footnote for several films, Felton is suddenly front and centre. Thankfully, this is his best effort by far. Encumbered by his sudden introduction to a task far greater than he's comfortable with and torn between duty, pride and morals. Well helped by great direction of dark, quite scenes with an absolute minimum of distraction. More of a nuisance is Grint's love interest, again turning his part of the story into something daft that doesn't really fit into neither the story, nor the general mood of the film.

As for the older cast, Gambon is travelling for lots of the duration, but he has a solemn demeanour as if he knows his ending before the rest of us (and he does of course). His last scene an exceptionally memorable death with a hauntingly beautiful theme accompanying him as his faithful strive to find light in the darkness, quite literally. Rickman keeps us guessing at every turn, enthralling with every syllable.

A bit more of Star Wars-thievery as we discover that Dumbledore of course discovered, and mentored, Voldemort. More of an original, but quite tantalizing, detail is the hour-glass. Great scene, perfectly edited.

Yeates keeps reminding us of the mystery of who the half-blood prince is. Firstly as a teenage caper, but later as a much more serious theme. And the disclosure does in no way disappoint. Nice build-up and concentration throughout.

So this instalment has some wonderful scenes, much better use of mood and symbolism than in the previous film, though lacking an enthralling end-game as it is substituted for emotional devastation. Very nice indeed.

8/10

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)

So the Dursley-introduction is for once relevant and dark, instead of just annoying. Could this be a good omen? Richard Griffiths squeal of joy should indicate so. As should Harry's lingering dark dreams. Not to mention a most welcome reunion with Mad-Eye and Sirius. Generally the first half hour builds a very good premise for the rest of the film. There's conspiracy, secret meeting, darkness afoot and speak of war as things seem to take a political turn.

But alas. It soon takes a plunge. For some inconceivable reason they've decided to make the centre of the entire development Dolores Umbridge. A walking parody. A putrid character. Perhaps even worse than Jar Jar Binks. If you want Kafkaesque persecution, and resistance movement after model of the series V, that's fine. But you can not build around a five foot villain with a constant daft "drunk aunt" smile and a love for cats and pink. Her techniques are actually rather dire and evil, but it has no believability in her hands. I have no idea if she was this daft in the books, but the movie takes a devastating blow as a consequence.

Where they get it right is the growing connection between Potter and Voldemort. Whereas there were only little drops earlier, Harry is now struggling with Voldemort entering his dreams, and his insomnia creates fatigue with the following paranoia. All perfectly built up.

Oldman is amazing here. His whole face shines with pride of Potter. and he shifts between playful and menacing in the blink of an eye. Radcliffe and Watson shine, and without the stacked stupidity of the former instalment, Grint is also good. They really start to come together both on their own, but even more as a team, and some of their best scenes together are in this flick. Rickman is still a scene-stealer of dimensions, and Isaac's arrogant calm and high-pitched end to his dialogue a treat. Bellatrix is another miss though. Bonham-Carter simply overdoes it and makes Lestrange more of an annoyance than anything useful.

So the end game is as usual magnificent, perhaps the best so far (the falling of the prophecies a sight to behold), there are a lot of things done right. And the author certainly has the ability to give a film the ending it needs, rather than the one that makes people feel brilliant. Unfortunately, the massive amount of screen-time (and key to the story) awarded to Umbridge is a spectacular fail that no kind of magic can save. And the match between Voldemort and Dumbledore, surely is that, even more so the cutting of scenes as Potter struggles with the former. But with a run-time of over two hours, you can't make an hours worth of a great adventure.

5/10

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

Ahhhh. A start devoid of Dursley's. What a wonderful surprise. And (almost) straight to action as well as new director Mike Newell shows off some wonderful CGI with a bit of a stereotype Irish.

The only new character that brings anything of value to this flick is the brilliant Brendan Gleeson. His Mad-Eye really a feast. Bringing a blend of good-old-days discipline, and some raw humour. His introduction of the three unforgivable curses, really is first rate. Pattinson is rather anonymous and dull (probably to take the shine off Radcliffe) whereas father and son Crouch (Pack and Tennant) are both doing it over-the-top. Making it easy to believe their genetic connection, but also leaving them a bit misplaced. So we're left with the regular cast.

Gambon grows in this instalment. Puzzled, overwhelmed and concerned by events he does not quite understand, he appears preoccupied and at times even short-tempered as he struggles with his conscience. As for Voldemort, Fiennes immediately hits a chord. With a narcissistic, sadistically gleeful turn, he brings out fear in even the foulest characters as we've seen them. And with them at each side, Radcliffe seems to grow perfectly into his part. Isaacs has turned his menacing streak up a bit, and it suits him perfectly. Unfortunately, his scenes are very few. Rickman suffers the same fate, but he is still able to make every pronounced letter memorable.

No teenage-flick can be made without some romance and the ensuing lack of rational thought. It's not particularly bad, but it's not good either. Ron's sulking jealousy a particular nuisance. Grint really has a poor script for this film as his exceptionally overblown anger directed towards Potter is also marring the logical build-up of his character.

The storyline has something extra this time with a competition between three wizarding schools (Both the others are naturally single-gender). Newell baths us in both the grand introductions and celebrations, as well as the thrill of competition with the tension that comes from the danger of the tasks. I reckon he has the original author to thank for a lot of that, though. Where he fails is to keep a lingering evil in the shadows. As Voldemort finally appears in full figure here, one would expect more bad omens, more of an evil feel. But Newell is apparently better at storytelling than an unseen, lurking evil presence. He does succeed spectacularly at ending on that note though, with the last scene of the Wizard's Cup a chilling and devastating affair.

At 157 minutes, Newell does stretch it. But apart from the aforementioned and a couple of glaring logical errors, this is great entertainment showing Mr. Potter growing up in many ways. And it offers another brilliant end game.

7/10

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Aunt Marge is a welcome addition to the Dursley's. They needed some direct meanness to push Potter over the edge and show a darker side. And the intro is blissfully short too this time around.

It's a smart move to introduce Sirius Black in pieces through different sources and gossip. Not until past the hour, is the (alleged) full truth exposed, unfortunately in a very poor scene. And it takes another hour until the real truth is presented. The Dementors are CGI at it's best. Well helped by the direction of Alfonso Cuaròn (replacing Chris Columbus that directed the first two instalments) who takes his sweet time setting them up.

The characters seem to be getting better for every film, naturally. And this time the main new characters (David Thewlis and Gary Oldman) are tantalizing and central, bringing both relevance and interest. That they both provide very different father-surrogates for Potter is a clever bonus, and gives us a couple of heart-warming dialogues. Emma Thompson's Trelawney is a daft parody though. Quite astonishing that neither the director nor the actress saw how utterly stupid her scenes are. Rickman's Snape is now growing into a most delectable character. A worthy foe and big reason to tread carefully. As for the kids, this is the first time Radcliffe seems 100% at home. For some reason Felton seems to have lost his touch though, struggling with being an obnoxious teenager.

Unfortunately, Richard Harris past away in 2002, leaving the franchise with huge shoes to fill as Albus Dumbledore. Michael Gambon makes no attempt at merely replacing Harris, and his Dumbledore is much more feisty, sneaky and mischievous from scene one. No worries here, then.

The side-story of the hippogriff Buckbeak is quite smart also. Building on Harry's love of flight, the importance of being kind to animals and adding an interesting extra everyday drama in all the big lines. Generally, Cuaròn is very good at balancing the everyday struggles of a teenager with the huge task of saving the world from evil. The Marauder's map is another cool feature.

So all in all, this is perhaps the best film so far. The storyline is fine, the characters (mostly) great and it all flows beautifully. Another stunning end-game with several story-layers is a big bonus.

8/10

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

So it would appear that the Dursley's get to start every instalment. OK as long as the film doesn't linger there, I guess. The problem now is that they add the extremely irritating Dobby to the mix, making the intro rather unbearable, despite downplaying both Petunia and Dudley. The Weasley's are a much more likeable, albeit not particularly interesting, family, and the film is soon back on track with them and a few of the lovely details that were so brilliant in the first instalment.

This movie is even longer than its predecessor, and this time it feels like it. A harsher editor would have proven very beneficial. Branagh is one character that could use a little less space. Not a bad idea in himself, but nowhere near interesting enough for the screentime he's awarded.

A brilliant piece of casting is Jason Isaacs. Sneeringly arrogant and just outside being outright rude 90% of the time. Most menacing the remaining 10.

So there are simply more things at fault here. The balance of humour has shifted to the level of eye-rolls with Dursley's, Dobby, Ron driving stick, Lockhart etc. It leaves the flick feeling a bit hectic, and quite frankly stupid at times.

There is still lots to enjoy though. The kids are all acting better this time around, though Watson is still in a league of her own. The mystery is good (the diary that writes back a suspenseful and outstanding feature), Isaacs, Rickman and Harris wonderful, and you are mostly well entertained. With a rather subtle way of introducing a racial debate, this is not an instalment without value for the rest of the franchise either. As a film though, it might have been rushed a bit, and hence suffers.

The end game is thrilling nonetheless (well aided by a fine turn from Christian Coulson), albeit a disappointing deus ex machina that shows its ugly head at the end of it.

6/10

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

There really is no better way to start off a fantasy-franchise than with an old-mentor-to-be showing off what a wise smart-ass he is, then end the opening scene with a little mystery and a cliffhanger.

As for the family. Petunia and Dudley are a bit too cartoonish combined, but the late Richard Griffiths is wonderful as uncle Vernon. Just the right blend of believable bastard and caring family-man.

When it comes to the actors, they are all British (a demand made by J.K. Rowling), but thankfully the Brits always did have enough actors. Special mentions in that regard to John Hurt, the stoic and warm Harris, and of course the deeply underestimated and thoroughly brilliant Rickman.
Radcliffe is a bit hit and miss at times, but then again he has an exorbitant number of scene for a kid his age. So he has a few scenes, that doesn't really work out. The best of the litter are Watson (perfectly snarky and over-confident) and Felton.

What this flick does best is perhaps the myriads of little details and the build-up of Radcliffe's powers and reputation. Columbus takes his time in this respect, adding to the 182 minutes running-time, thought it never seems prolonged unnecessary.

As it's a film mainly for kids, the humour is light and simple, with plenty of righteous comeuppance. Though there are small nods to the older viewers. Professor Quirrell as a villain is only for the kids though, and director Columbus makes a very smart choice not to expose him before he can simultaneously launch a second, and much better villain.

John Williams delivers a very capable score, and the main theme particularly is outstanding.

For the kids, this is about as perfect as it gets. There's a familiar and flowing story, a relatable character for most, discovery of new friends, some nice morals, tons of large and small events to marvel at, and just the right dash of mystery. For adults, it's some of the most enjoyable you'll ever take your kids to see. Though at times the "look of wonder" does become a bit too frequent and they take quite a few very kid-friendly shortcuts. And, shockingly, the CGI is straight out awful at times. The final scene at Hogwarts should be avoided by adults, though.

8/10

Bull Durham (1988)

What better way to introduce a young Tim Robbins than by a naked ass pumping in and out of a booth (I wonder if it was his own?). A brilliant start to the sportsfilm that has more sex than baseball.

This surely is the most sexual film ever made about baseball, even earning it an R-rating. And in the centre of it all is Susan Sarandon, oozing with just too much sexuality to overcompensate for her feminist views. Until she meets the young Robbins' veteran mentor Kevin Costner, a rugged minor league legend.

The three really excel here, and particularly Robbins and Sarandon (who started a long-lasting relationship with this flick) seem to be having the time of their lives. With Robbins being the "Million dollar arm, with the 5 cent head" that takes nothing seriously, and Sarandon the quasi-philosophic free-spirited feminist, this film needs Costner. His stoic, laconic and weary catcher with somewhat traditional values, a perfect balance to the simpleton and the philosopher.

Chemistry is key here though. Costner has a sizzling chemistry with Sarandon, both quarrelling and flirting. His on-screen partnership with Robbins is also fantastic, and provides a light humour as the smarter and more experienced toys with the dimwitted rookie. And as a bonus, all three characters, particularly Sarandon and Robbins, develop very nicely through different types of mentoring from Costner, finding a balance and calm. In that respect, the two characters are given a very much needed sand-grinding. And Costner has immense charm and shows off a comic talent that was never to be seen again. Furthermore, he always did have a way to play his character with an edge of bitterness and wile temper, that adds a bit of spark

It's a strange sports-movie, though. There are no big games, most of the on-field action is conversation between the leads (oral or written). No suspense of any kind as to the outcome of any given situation or game as far as sports are concerned. We hardly learn the score of the games, even.

And there sure are some speeches of quality and one-liners to speak of. And although Costner's speech about belief is rather famous, my favourite is. "He fucks like he pitches. Sorta all over the place".

So it's sexy, it's funny and it has some great leads. The rest of the cast are hardly noticeable, but then again, in 1988, the three aforementioned would do.

7/10

The First Great Train Robbery (1978)

Although Patrick Stewart is the emperor of voice-overs, Sean Connery is certainly not a bad choice. It's blissfully short and to the point, too.

Firstly, the sexual innuendos between Connery and the women are a delight. Metaphors spewing all over with a snicker and a smirk. The metaphors are also good for the "locker-room talk", but less provocative, naturally.

It's a clever touch to have four MacGuffins that have to be retrieved in different fashions. It adds to the plot as well as to the extent of scoundrel our protagonists evolve. Though perhaps the first key should have been saved to last, as the extent of that deceit is just delectable and grand. The build-up to the last lift is very satisfying though.

Generally, heists are great fun when executed aptly, as the open up a toolbox of suspense, creative, romance, action and deadpan all together. Director Crichton chooses to downplay the romantic issue as a whole, taking rather a cynicist's view on the whole matter. Kudos. The romantic angle rarely brought much of essence to this genre anyway, thus leaving him more room to play with the story and areas that are actually of interest to the plot itself.

Sutherland doesn't fit this as good as some of the others in a flick set 150 years ago as he slips up in the accent from time to time. His facial expressions and comedic timing is impeccable though. Connery is a perfect dapper gentleman with a deep callousness, pulling all the threads. The rest of the cast are quite frankly mere extras, and apart from an overacting Wayne Sleep, they pull that weight nicely.

In the late seventies, it was quite common to use Jerry Goldsmith for scores and he delivers a raunchy, fun theme, perfectly fitted to the action and light mood of the film. It lacks a bit of versatility in the tense scenes though.

So this is a well executed and charming heist-movie, with the judge's remarks and Connery's witty answer a perfect end with the grin of Sutherland to see us off.

7/10

Den 12. mann (2017)

After a less than impressive recent career making bad (and light) films, Zwart goes back to his native Norway to do something heavier. Does he succeed? Well, yes. But he does show a few shortcomings as well.

Let's start with Thomas Gullestad as he has to carry this flick, appearing in almost every single scene, and a lot of them alone. He went for broke here by losing dangerous amounts of weight to look the part. And he absolutely does. He excels at looking broken down, yet defiant and his deadpan deliveries along with his gritty smile in the face of hopelessness and endless enduring pain is pitch perfect. He lacks a bit at the outer edges of pain, and as he cuts off his own toes, you think of Ian McShane and how horrid that scene would have been with him in it.

There is no real supporting cast to speak of as most of the other characters have short parts, hence falling short of being interesting. None of them bad, some quite good, but still in too short periods of time to be of strong interest. By casting an Irishman as a German SS-officer, Zwart takes an unnecessary risk, but Rhys-Davies is quite all right. Here, however, Zwart's lack of quality shows. He provides no real meat for any of the characters, no apparent motivation. We're supposed to take it all on faith, which is fine, but it leaves a gaping hole where there should be some substance. And in that respect, some of the scenes suffers greatly. Particularly problematic for the part of Kurt Stage.

Where he makes Norwegians, and likely Baalsrud who died in 1988, proud, is in the portrayal of the selflessness of the population that Baalsrud encounters. With a real possibility of being shot as traitors for aiding him, all are willing to help, whether it be individuals or the community as a whole. Norwegians are quite proud of this part of history, and it will be an easy sell here.

He also excels at his portrayal of the sheer endurance of pain afflicted to our protagonist, making use of different filters, and slow-motion rather brilliantly. It's mesmerizingly horrible to think of the amount of strain put on Baalsrud throughout this ordeal, both physically and mentally. There is also lots of tension, particularly at the beginning and as a whole this is a rather excruciating film to watch. And I like to feel a bit exhausted after a film. It shows involvement.

So though hardly a classic it is the best movie Zwart has ever made, and it gives a sad little people forgotten in snow (Norwegians) a huge dose of national pride. And I suppose that will do.

7/10

The Last Jedi (2017)

So does a follow-up fare better than the more independent Rogue One? By miles.

First of all: Where there is charm, there is a way. Daisy Ridley is a real gem and delivers a character that the audience can care about. Oscar Isaac and the underrated Mark Hamill flank her very nicely, and particularly Hamill's Jedi calm is instrumental to Ridley's opportunity to be as emotional as she is without it becoming tedious. Finn is more of an unwelcome distraction, both as a character and most of his storyline. The former seems erratic and the latter more like a B-side of the hit single. Other than that, Domhnall Gleeson is the scene-stealer for the most. His genius and tactical, cynical and cold brain a welcome contrast to a saga where everyone reaches out with their feelings incessantly.

And herein lies the problem. Whereas the protagonist and the mentor are both in place, where is the supposed villain? Sure, Snoke is decent (though no Palpatine), but nowhere near a worthy villain in an epic saga. Much worse is Kylo Ren. Though Adam Driver isn't a bad actor, and his scenes with Ridley are at times riveting, he is nowhere near portraying an evil master and megalomaniac. You pity the poor General Hux, often thwarted by the sheer stupidity and lack of perspective shown by the young Jedi. And without a decent villain, the tension suffers greatly. I will give it to director Johnson that he does understand this and tries hard to work around it. The Empire is vastly superior in numbers and firepower throughout, adding to the suspense and hopelessness where a great and evil presence would have done much of the same.

John Williams is pushing 85, so to flicker with his masterpiece is probably perfect work for him. He's not afraid to come up with a few new themes though, but the real treat is when they sneak in excerpts of the old themes at pivotal moments. It adds such an extra layer for the real fans, and we can smirk and feel just a bit smarter and well-informed for a short second. 

As for the storyline, it's pretty much the same as all the films in the franchise. Disney hasn't tried originality in decades apart from when they let Pixar run without interference. There is a larger scope, and a lot of fairly straightforward smaller stories necessary for the larger scope to be realized. There are formulaic (but great) action scenes, a bit more regular and longer than necessary, and the lines are still as Harrison Ford described them many years ago. But the film has a nice flow, great suspense at times and the humour is infinitely better than in Rogue One, making this instalment keep its charm. And what more than charm, Jedis and pew-pew can a Star Wars-fan really demand?

7/10

Rogue One (2016)

Disney would appear to mean business as both Mads Mikkelsen and Forest Whitaker appear within seconds, showing off some big names. Kudos also to Ben Mendelsohn for doing his finest Ian McKellen impersonation.

As there are no familiar characters from the last movie, it starts disjointed and a frankly a bit messy. Cross-cutting between many characters in different positions is best left to characters where you have already established an interest amongst the viewers. Such as the finale in Lucas' last instalment.

There are many highpoints though. The CGI to re-introduce Admiral Tarkin is sublime and Guy Henry's voice is pitch-perfect. And old characters in cameos are always fun, though you know that is determined by the evil marketing-department at Disney. That goes for all the many, many nods to he earlier installments, large and small. And still Storm-troopers are utterly useless whenever shooting at anyone known to the audience.

A low-point would be the peculiar choice of Michael Giacchino as the new composer. He has made very few epic scores and this blends poorly with the old excerpts from Willams' former work. Surely there were better options available for the amount of money they had available?

Generally, the characters are not as interesting and charming as last time around, meaning interest is fading. Nor is their development particularly good, even for a George Lucas-franchise. As for robots, I love Alan Tudyk, but his robot is just a reason to miss Anthony Daniels more. Chirrut Îmwe is a particularly dull Jedi with dialogue so horrible, not even the fortune-cookie companies would be able to shove it in their products without shame. And he repeats his lame catchfrase like a bad episode of Teletubbies.

There is of course plotting and bravery a plenty with the formulated action every 12 minutes, but we've seen it before now. Many times. Particularly the problematic shield and the hail Mary's.

Lucas' franchise originally had some of the same flaws, but there was always plenty of charm and (only in the oldest trilogy) a spark between the characters. This has neither. The ending is fantastic, though. A part from the last 10 seconds which is so mind-numbingly stupid and unnecessary you almost need to weep.


As the franchise moves on, it seems wise of all A-name actors to insert a death-clause in their contract.

4/10