Die Another Day (2002)

Bond brings some friends to lift diamonds. And so he has access to North Korean military equipment posing as an arms dealer. But, alas, the enemy has updated information as to his real identity and instead of spying, we are treated to a lengthy chase scene after Bond uses his wristwatch to create a very flammable diversion. But the idea of racing hovercrafts in mine fields are genuinely cool and most entertainingly executed, although it ends pretty stupidly because action still seems to be more important than reason and logic in a single scene. Then Bond is tortured through the entire vignette. That's a first.

The casting here is the worst in decades. Brosnan delivers as he's supposed to. Berry overacts terrible, Stephens is mostly like a petulant child. With Pike unable to really find her footing, and the extras including Madonna, the casting was obviously done by a dozen drunk monkeys trying to write Shakespeare. Sure, the director might be rightly criticised for not getting the best out of Pike, Stephens and the great Michael Madsen, but casting Madonna is just insane in any film. At least Cleese is good. And Samantha Bond's scene towards the end is a real gem.

Fencing with the villain was an excellent idea, but unfortunately director Tamahori is tempted to overdo it, and the whole scene makes Madonna look like the well-balanced one. The action in general is better than in a while though, as Tamahori mostly manages to keep it at acceptable length and tries not to overdo the stunts and explosions too much  (apart from the insanely stupid paragliding). Besides, he actually has a couple of cool ideas (apart from the black hole of daftness in the paragliding). He doesn't really seem to like tension though, so he chooses to disregard that option, even when easily applied.

So it's not without its strengths and charms, but they've not bothered to write decent characters, and managed to cast poor characters with all the wrong actors. And that does hurt your bottom line (in quality. Fiscally, this film did great). Thus endeth the reign of Pierce Brosnan

5/10

Best car used: Aston Martin Vanquish. Delectable
Most memorable drink served: '61 Bollinger
Henchmen: Zao. A martial arts version of Michael Jackson walking into a diamond storm.
Villain: Gustav Graves. Stupid character, badly acted
Best one-liner: "I think I broke her heart". (Jinx' line)
Song: "Die another Day" by Madonna. Horrid, despicably poor. Almost half as bad as her part in the film
Bond-girl: Halle Berry as Jinx. Pays homage to Andress. Otherwise forgettable though one of the strongest flirters of the franchise, partly because she overhits the ball.

The World is not Enough (1999)

Brosnan's Bond seems to have to pose as a banker every time. But the intro starts of decently with  brutish 007 and no less than two hidden killers. With a nifty escape, you'd think they were pleased. But no! There's another cool assassination, before it falls stupidly apart with a brilliant sniper suddenly unable to both pick a decent weapon,or hit anything with any weapon. Then there's a lengthy boat chase with tiresome music and the most ridiculous stunts of the series, and finally we can get going.

One of the finest actors of the franchise was, of course, Desmond Llewellyn. At 85, he grooms John Cleese as his replacements and leaves us with "Always have an escape plan" as his final words after 35 years as Q. He was killed in a car accident later that year, and will never be fully replaced. Another nice revisited character is that of Robbie Coltrane. M is more personally involved this time, and albeit good, I prefer Dench when arrogantly on top of things. Denise Richards was never a good actress, and to cast her as a genius physicist in a film that has Dench as well as Sophie Marceau (though the latter not at the top of her game), is beyond stupid. And she's not exactly helped by being dressed in clothes to short for Lara Croft.

Director Michael Apted does what was popular in the 90's if you lacked quality: You exaggerate stunts and action to the point where the crowd simply roll their eyes. Every time two things bump into each other here, a gasoline bomb goes off. So extreme that the exploding items usually crash into oil-drums of gasoline.

The pipe-line chase is good tension with lots at stake. The flooding scenes in the submarine even better in that respect, and the film has plenty of action and some smart writing. But there's just as many glaring mistakes in the writing, so I suppose it evens out. It feels more like an action-film most of the time, and not really a Bond. And it's not really a great action-film either

4/10

Best car used: BMW Z8
Most memorable drink served: Vodka Martini. Shaken not stirred.
Henchmen:  Robert Carlyle as Renard. A most vicious psychopath.
Villain: Sophie Marceau as Elektra King. WAY down on the list.
Best one-liner: "One last screw".
Song: "The World is not Enough" by Garbage. Not at all bad.
Bond-girl: Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist . Oh the humanity

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

So back at the 2-year interval, and back at blowing up airports. Bond saves some mountain from nuclear meltdown before having an aerial dogfight with MIG's. The safe formula it is.

As for Brosnan he is more of a natural the second time around. Meaning he tries less, and ends up about where he was, perhaps not even there. But as the years progress, the casting has bigger names.

Pryce is a treat as always, going in and out of cool callousness and enthusiastic megalomania, but always polite in his phrasing (his manners not so much). Bond and Carver has brilliant banter too. Generally Bond's quips and innuendos are plentiful. Hatcher is a very memorable, but mostly because Schiavelli is so fantastic at disposing of her. As for the regulars, Dench is still good, and Q has all the fatherly love and annoyance you need. But they do throw a bit too many characters into the mix, with just a line or two, and that makes the film look disjointed at times. A further problem is Michelle Yeoh. When Bond has had Bond-girls that were other agencies' counterparts, they've always had plenty of screentime. Yeoh doesn't apart from stunts and action-scenes, so there really is no time to strike a connection with 007. And she doesn't do that particularly well in the few scenes they do have.

The action is sub-par for Bond, but at least the remote-controlled BMW is fun. And the stunt-men (and women) probably had enough bruises to show. There is some tension (mostly a nice double-jeopardy for Brosnan and Yeoh towards the end), but I'd expect director Spottiswoode to get more out of it considering there are boats and torpedoes involved. How hard is it to just leave the camera with two shots whilst having the radar increase bleeps?

David Arnold is a simpler, more modern composer than John Barry, making the music fitting to the scenes, but very uninteresting as such. And some is quite frankly just tedious synth- and bass-crap.

So there are no real points where this flick really fails, but it just doesn't engage the viewer. You don't care as much as you should, and you're not as enthralled as you should. Perhaps the lack of exotic locations and a sheer laziness to formulate is where it goes wrong. So it's OK. It just feels like a safe choice, without much creative force. Forgettable.

6/10

Best car used: Aston Martin DB5
Most memorable drink served: Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred.
Henchmen: Vincent Schiavelli as Dr. Kaufman is just a beautiful creature, whereas Otto as Stamper is more of a throwback to Hitler's perfect rase and Stephen Lang's "Party Crasher" from 1991.
Villain: Jonathan Pryce as Elliot Carver. True megalomaniac
Best one-liner: "They'll print anything these days".
Song: "Tomorrow never Dies". The only song not to break the Billboard. Depressing, as it's one of my favourites.
Bond-girl: Michelle Yeoh as Wei Lin

Goldeneye (1995)

The graphic violence of "License to kill" had killed Bond at the box-office, and it would take an unprecedented six years before 007 was to appear again. When he did it was in a most familiar way. A stealthy sneak-in, followed by an exploding exit. The problem is, the intro alone tells us Martin Campbell is going to struggle to find his theme in the following two hours.

Brosnan was expected to play Bond 20 years earlier but was denied by his producers, as he had signed a long term contract for the piece of shit that was "Remington Steele". He tries very hard to balance the comical wit of Moore, the cold and calm Connery, and the passion of the Dalton. He doesn't really make it all the way there, but it's not all his fault and his attempt is a good one.

Famke Janssen is a vicious and entertaining flirt, but her sexual arousal whenever there's death involved is just daft and probably designed to prey at 15 year old boys. I hate marketing. Dench is a stroke of genius though, and naturally the exceptionally and continually underrated Sean Bean delivers. Joe Don Baker is much better as a surly but jovial CIA-operative than he was as a barking mad weapons-dealer, and Alan Cumming not without entertainment value. Was ever Robbie Coltrane miscast? Doubt it. Scorupco isn't bad but her screaming is better left to Jamie Lee Curtis. With a cast more British than the Harry Potter-franchise, it is a strange thing to hear all speak "russio-anglo".

They do make an effort to bring the franchise back after its financial demise from the 80's. The original car is there. The Bollinger. the introduction, the vodka martini, M, Q, the card games, the wonderful sparring with Moneypenny (the best in decades here, with Samantha Bond). They did fuck up and give him a BMW to make some sponsor money, though. Perhaps a bit obvious all in all, but you have to admire the effort.

So the nostalgia is total, the action decent, the stunts a bit over the top and the tension restricted to one scene. Serra's score is (apart from the variations on existing themes) nothing short of an aberration, and all in all Bond is back the way the masses seem to want him. The biggest problem is, still, that they fail to put the pieces together for a continuing theme. At times it's quite serious, other times more cartoonish. It's still not the worst in that respect by far though. And there is full score for effort, and bonus points for the fight scenes between Brosnan and Bean.

7/10

Best car used: 1965 Aston Martin DB5
Most memorable drink served: Bollinger 1988
Henchmen: Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp. The second girl in the franchise to kill men by smothering them with her thighs. And it wasn't clever the first time.
Villain: Alec Trevelyan/006 - Sean Bean as a Cossack hating his queen.
Best one-liner: "The writing's on the wall". So good even Q appreciates it.
Song: "Goldeneye". Written by Bono and performed by Tina Turner. Unsurprisingly uninteresting. There are some decent strings, though.
Bond-girl: Izabella Scorupco as Natalya Simonova

License to Kill (1989)

So Bond is the best man in Leiter's wedding in one of the longest intros in the franchise. The latter has a drug-dealer (Robert Davi as Sanchez) to catch on his wedding day, so a detour is required. Predictably they seem to save the day, and parachute to the wedding to the awaiting bride and crowd after some small chases and a very slick special effect tow-in.

But alas! This time there's a cruel twist as Sanchez escapes in time to have a shark eat Leiter's legs and kill his wife. The former a most gruelling scene for this franchise. So there will be no spy-theme this time around. It's a pure personal vendetta against a drug-lord after Bond goes AWOL without his license to kill (Hence the title). How original.

For Dalton though, this works a treat. He excels as a driven, enraged avenger with a singular mission. His own. Davi was a shoe-in for psycho's in this period, and delivers nicely. Del Toro plays his part with flair, but he doesn't have the seriousness about him as a henchman should, as he either stands behind his boss or brings a whole posse. I've seen better actresses than Lowell, but she does spark a decent chemistry with Dalton and suits him perfectly. Zerbe and Soto bring what can be expected from their respective parts. The big treat here though is an extended part for Llewellyn as he tries to mediate between the two women fighting for Bond's affection.

Barry was replaced by Michael Kamen for this film and he predictably opts for more guitars, whether standard electric or more acoustic southern sounds. Not the worst choice, though I do miss the horns.

So at last John Glen managed to find a singular theme throughout a movie. And it's a dark action film. There are some excellent water-stunts and the film really plays to Dalton's strengths. Unfortunately not to Bond's. But it was the darkest Bond to date. And it does have the most callous death Bond has ever inflicted. It still lacks much of the foundation of what Bond is supposed to be.

6/10

Best car used: 1978 Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
Most memorable drink served: Medium dry vodka martini, shaken not stirred
Henchmen: Benicio del Toro as knife-wielding Dario. A most sadistic and deadly little runt.
Villain: Robert Davi as Frank Sanchez. No one better in that decade to play a psycho.
Best one-liner: "Looks like he came to a dead end"
Song: "License to Kill" by Gladys Knight. A welcome throwback to older eras, but not quite to scale.
Bond-girl: Carey Lowell as Pam Bouvier. A personal favourite of mine.

The Living Daylights (1987)

So there's a new angle here as a training mission goes wrong and a 00-agent falls to his death, leaving only the mysterious note (that we're not allowed to see until an hour later). There are stunts galore, including burning crates of TNT falling off transit at high speed, making sure there are more than enough explosions to set the mood. Bond's landing is of course perfect. He even dons the grin.

Dalton is rather pissy and brutish from the go here. He had reportedly demanded a less comical Bond, and he does deliver on that note. He never looks as suave as his predecessors in mannerisms nor clothing, but he does wear his arrogance well. With more of a sneer and sometimes exasperation. It makes for a more realistic character, re-introducing the cold,callous Bond. Though with some real affection for his woman. A man of passion indeed, and far from the quipping and smiling Moore.

Tension has improved in this instalment, as sniping tends to set that up brilliantly. The storyline is also better than in recent years, with a defecting Russian general at the centre of events. Furthermore, there is more of a spy feel as someone has taken the job of writing some smart pieces where the different parties elaborately play each other.

After 24 years, Lois Maxwell decided to call it a day and Caroline Bliss takes over as Moneypenny. Her chemistry with Bond lacks the class of the Canadian. John Rhys-Davies as Russian General Pushkin is predictably jovial and solid. Maryam d'Abo is a bit back to the 60's a demure damsel in over her head in need of rescue. She does it decently, though a bit over the top at times. Baker is not quite the villain you want. Just a mad American, not unlike Ed Begley in "The Billion Dollar Brain". And is he really the villain? Or is that the more buffoonish Koskov in the not very apt hands of Jeroen Krabbè. Probably the latter. Even worse.

Barry's score is a times dramatic and nice, but suffers greatly from the synth-sound of the 80's. Not his strong suit, and quite frankly just another example of a tragic decade for music.

So John Glen does manage to create more of a caper than in many years, and at times some realistic spy-themes. But without a real villain, this still fails to qualify as a great film. And fair enough that Dalton didn't want to be a cartoon Bond, but they could have provided him with one single one-liner, couldn't they?

6/10
Best car used: Aston Martin V8 Vantage (Me want)
Most memorable drink served: Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred (but drugged)
Henchmen: Necros in the hands of Andreas Wisniewski. Efficient and brutal.
Villain: Jeroen Krabbe as Koskov
Best one-liner: "He got the boot"
Song: "The Living Daylights" A-Ha. Very 80's, plenty of synth. As Barry hated working with A-ha, his trademarks are not really easy to spot, unfortunately. 
Bond-girl: Maryam d'Abo. A bit too demure for my taste, but she is a cellist.

A View to a Kill (1985)

The Russians are back in spades as 007 finds a dead agent in the snow (retrieving a MacGuffin), and is forced to escape with some quite extreme ski-stunts. Ending it with a submarine disguised as an ice-flake, is a bit much though. Particularly as it obviously is a poor prop, easily deducted from the movements it makes when Bond steps on it. It is a short and quite unmemorable intro.

Casting is highly variable this time around. Apart from Walken making the second best of a half-wit character, there is special mention goes to Patrick MacNee. There is real sadness as Grace Jones kills Sir Godfrey in the Rolls, even for Bond as he discovers him. Willoughby Gray as Dr. Mortner is a travesty and Jean Rougerie would fit better in a Pink Panther-skit. Actually most of the Paris-scenes are cartoonish and stupid, with characters to match.

As for Moore, this was his "one too many" as he's clearly too old for his character. He was 58 at the time, and looking it, failing to deliver the virility we've come to expect.That Grace Jones has so much of it, particularly in bed, adds insult to injury.

Apart from the earliest instalments, this is perhaps John Barry's finest score as there are horns blazing at high intensity. Particularly the action scenes are set alight by his work. Why they would taint an early scenes with "California Girls" is beyond me, however.

The action is decent, and the stunts quite all right, though often blemished by over-acting in a comical sense that doesn't fit with the villains ruthlessness and cold-blooded murders, whether one on one or in huge numbers. Generally, the level of silly is miles above what it should be, and this film never really settles on what it wants to be.

This really isn't a good film. Glen screws up again by introducing too many half-important characters, instead of concentrating on a few. Thus we are once again without a real Bond-girl and a generally messy affair. With a plot that seriously fails to make sense on most levels, the best thing about this is John Barry's score. And that can be bought separately.

4/10


Best car used: 1962 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud II
Most memorable drink served: Bollinger '75
Henchmen: Grace Jones as May Day. As unpredictable as they come
Villain: Max Sorin. A megalomaniac of proportions in the hands of Christopher Walken
Best one-liner: "Does anybody else want to drop out?"
Song: "A View to a Kill" by Duran Duran. Stylish and dramatic. Well done.
Bond-girl: Tanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton. Drowned in stronger women

Octopussy (1983)

So Bond is captured, escapes promptly and tricks the Cubans into sending a missile into their own hangar, before landing at a rural gas station to refill gas. Cool start! That the next part has 009 dressed as a clown killed by circus-artists adds a bit more tension and intrigue. And the squeaky sound of his shoes as he lands after a jump is a delightful detail.

I most enjoy the Bond-movies with a good political background. Steven Berkoff's Russian general, looking to invade Eastern Europe, is a most welcome angle. Berkoff does suffer a bit under a well of semi-villains though. Khamal Khan and Octopussy distract from him. From his opening scene, it takes almost 50 minutes until he appears again. In addition, there is no shortage of villains either, leaving all of them with too little screentime to make any real impact.

Only the Brits can make an art-auction entertaining and tense, and Moore is the perfect culprit to raise gasps and shock amongst old aristocrats by the sheer wink of his eye. The follow-up gambling with Khan is also a great treat, adding to a fine first hour. Generally, the dialogues are on the better side of the franchise, and Moore has a wide range of quips for all situations. Smirk-factor sky-high.

As usual, director John Glen makes excellent use of the exotic location, though there are stereotypes galore, bordering on outright racism in today's world. Every thing you ever heard about Indian culture, whether true or not, is here in spades. Glen also dispenses of the fast-forward action, and does a nice job with his fight scenes and vehicle chases.

The title-song however, is so bad it begs belief, and Rita Coolidge hardly carries the tunes. Only the eighties could like this. Barry's score is very good on the other hand.

So there are a bit too many bad-guys here, and a shocking lack of cars and drinks, as well as an untraditional Bond-woman that appears late and has very few scenes with Bond. The plot from the intro utterly loses itself in some diamond smuggling and the story seems to have been muddled up at several points. But it excels at dialogue, action, tension and stunts (driving in particular), and should not be overlooked by the fans

6/10

Best car used: Mercedes Benz 250SE
Most memorable drink served: No named drinks
Henchmen: Gobinda. A huge, mute Indian. Like an exotic and dull Jaws. Also Khamal Khan, who takes many of the scenes usually reserved for the main villain, and two douchy twins from the circus.
Villain: General Orlov. A very good, though underused character.
Best one-liner: "Having trouble keeping it up, Q?"
Song: "All Time High" by Rita Coolidge. Bad, even for this decade
Bond-girl: Octopussy - Maud Adams. Resourceful, but with an undercommunicated role.