Joker (2019)

So, the most important social commentary in years? Oh hell no. Don't believe that hype. It is, however, a very good film.

And make no mistake. For better or worse, this is Joaquin Phoenix' film from start to finish. For better or worse. Mostly better, as it is an absolutely astonish performance. And written with an Oscar in mind, no doubt. The Academy loves a malnourished, skinny actor playing a psychopath with everyday struggles. Phoenix has both the nuance and the sheer crazy. It's painful to watch his awkward interaction with society, with or without his involuntary laughter. His feet are always in motion, whether dancing, running or frenetically moving them as he sits by the television. You can feel his loneliness as he sits in a club taking notes for his own stand-up, while laughing at all the wrong places,without ever realizing why. He balances everything perfectly. Making you feel enough for him to feel interested, but never enough to understand him. Nicely summed up on a piece of paper early in the film

As for the other actors, who mostly work as extras, there is special mention for Brian Tyree Henry and Frank Wood, who both have very short scenes, but really make a lasting impression.

The film is very slow in pace, lingering, making you anticipate and dread scenes. Like Arthur's first appearance as a comedian in front of an audience. You know it's coming, you know it will be gruelling. So you dread it. Rightly. Then director Phillips does it again. With such a slow pace, Phoenix is allowed all the space and time he needs. More importantly, the violence feels particularly shocking when it appears. It's a very uncomfortable film to watch, and not because of the violence. It's all about the moods, the dystopia and the bleakness. There isn't much humour here, but it is dark. Phillips has his tricks as a storyteller too, and make no mistake: The novice will be fooled. The cynic perhaps also.

So to the claim that this is an important outlook as to how a society creates a villain. It's certainly done rather well, but there's nothing new here. Gotham was always a bleak city, with a divided society. It was touched by Burton and rammed into the ground by Nolan. The fact that this film doesn't have a hero, doesn't make the story nor concept original in that respect. In some ways, it's almost a homage, as there are so many films referenced indirectly here. At least 3 of the previous Batman-films from the Burton-films until now, V for Vendetta, King of Comedy, Taxi Driver etc.

It's worth noting that Arthur is so invested in being a clown, that even when he runs in his civilian clothes, he runs as if he had his giant shoes on. A further fantastic detail, is the development of his laugh. Throughout the film it's either forced by his medical condition, or by his compulsion to adapt to his society. But towards the end, his laugh towards the TV-audience is in total control, sarcastic and maniacal. The odd one out finally finding his way

A sigh of exasperation: Had they ended the film 3 minutes earlier, with an amazing scene sending shivers down all spines, I would have rated it even higher.

8/10

Thirteen Days (2000)

A 145 minute film about the Cuba Missile Crisis... Surely this has all the hallmarks of tediousness and overly obvious morals?

Costner seems to have a proclivity to films where his character has a family that he can love and worry alongside as the main plot evolves. At times these scenes seem unnecessary, but him telling his wife that he will be evacuated with the President, not joining her and the children in the event of war, is very good. He does excel at playing the smart man with a temper just around the corner, though. And you can fell his anger as he keeps his composure among the brass as they attempt to force the President's hand.

Greenwood is brilliant as JFK, even notching up an award for his work. A bigger surprise is Steven Culp as the cockier, more aggressive and hands-on Robert Kennedy. Always with a complete understanding of any situation, and a way to implement. The brilliant and ruthless one to a tee.

As there is no youth here, this is an opportunity for mature character actors to shine. That makes for a stellar cast. Special mention goes to Dylan Baker and Michael Fairman for memorable interpretations of Robert McNamara and Adlai Stevenson. Baker is front and centre of the films most suspenseful scene (a wonderful nail-biter as the a Russian ship has broken the blockade) and is pitch perfect. Fairman is brilliant as the cautious Stevenson, teetering on the brink of his career, but as all seem to have lost faith in him, and he needs to step up, he has a weary little gem: "I'm an old political cat, Kenny. But I've got one life left". A sublime, understated performance.

The men in dark suits with serious faces work a treat and show you don't need to flash people to get a point across. A few lines, spoken with certainty, with shivering consequences obvious, and the heartbreaking calls Costner has to make as a result, are among the films most memorable scenes. Director Donaldson does an excellent job at portraying the pressure Kennedy was under by his military advisers to launch a full-scale invasion of Cuba instead of a more cautious blockade. Albeit, I do feel he overstates it a bit for simplicity and to make Kennedy shine even more.

There is suspense galore, despite most of it being conversations in dark room between men in even darker suits, with lingering close-ups of very serious politicians and diplomats. The humour is naturally very dry and very clever. Quite perfect. As for the running time it is perfectly viable, until the last few minutes, which are most unnecessary drivel.


Best enjoyed with a large whisky. No ice. Just for the mood.

8/10

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

To remake one of the finest BBC mini-series ever made, starring the late, ingenious Alec Guinness is an almost impossible task. The series is definitely too long by today's depressing standards, so perhaps a two-hour feature is just the treatment it needs. And you have to give it to them: They really did try.

They are very true to the aesthetics of the original. There are grainy, grey filters and men with impeccable hair and suits galore. All smoking and speaking softly, until angered. Some of the lines are identical word for word, and particularly the scene with Kathy Burke is hardly altered at all (apart from the crude opening), and neither is Guillam's encounter with The Circus.

The cast is of the greatest quality, even with a vast amount of key characters. As I shall explain, a good bunch of actors, does not necessarily make a great cast. But the problem here, is more that the director has altered a lot of the from the book and original series. But on to the men.

John Hurt is perfectly weary as Control, dying and discredited at the end of a long and distinguished career. Benedict Cumberbatch lacks the brutish tendencies as Peter Guillam, and isn't the best fit here as he comes off less than independent. Oldman is one of the finest actors of his generation, and proves is again here. Particularly his soliloquy re-enacting an old interrogation is magnificent. Firth is solid, but lacks the vast arrogance of Ian Richardson, and he doesn't have the same screen-time. Generally it feels like they've tried to modernise the male characters, depriving them of the stoic self-belief. In that though, they also deprive the film of the exceptional treat of the form of banter that's hardly been seen since the 70's: The grown men with inflated self-worth and the arrogance to go with it, banging it out in a way only men who are obsessed with manners and appearance. And that really is gone here.

As in the original, Smiley is portrayed as a ridiculously lonely and quiet man, albeit with the sharpest of brains. Director Alfredson does perhaps overdo the loneliness, though I suspect the world today is a much less subtle place. Furthermore, Alfredson keeps the slow pace of the series. But by lingering and slowing down unimportant parts of the story, he has to cut even more of the story. And what suffers most in that respect is the quiet, dignified power for struggle within The Circus, and in particular the part of Toby Esterhase who is reduced to a snivelling weasel in the film, bereft of class and ambition.

The chess-pieces are a clever trick, though not very original, and forgotten towards the middle of the film. Alfredson is guilty of a couple of shortcuts and unnecessary distractions towards the end, but nothing major. A clear mistake made is that whereas the original immediately tells us the relevance of the children's rhyme, this film leaves it until the last half-hour. And generally this is a much smarter film than average and it really is a delight seeing the puzzle slowly take form until completion. With the fantastic script from John Le Carré, it certainly is a wonderful puzzle to watch.

7/10

Calvary (2014)

A film starring Brendan Gleeson (64 years) as a priest, Father James. Now, this should be for a limited audience. With the opening line: "I first tasted semen when I was seven", it certainly demands your attention.

The scenery is quite stunning. Long Irish shores under grey weather. Huge, green pastures. All perfect background for a large priest dressed in black.

Gleeson really is fantastic here. A perfect weary  and gruff old priest, with all the signs of a man who has seen too much of most. The kind that is no longer puzzled or befuddled over the actions of his fellow men, as he drifts further and further away from them. Perfectly coined by a parishioner early on as he corrects her analogy: "You're just a little too sharp for this perish." David Wilmot is nice as the buffoonish younger priest, adding further grievance to Father James' existence as he sits alone in his white room, without a single picture or trinket (only a cross), petting his old, dying golden retriever. A visit from his suicidal daughter (aptly played by Kelly Reilly) is for a while treated in the same way as his parish: With a defensive distance.

Father James almost exclusively observes as he watches his parishioners snort cocaine in public restrooms, throw their friends across the room at the pub, urinate on expensive paintings or making jokes as he watches his church burn to the ground.

The characters are sublime, and lay a foundation of very funny conversations about most subjects, as they all have their problems to share with Father James. And as the characters slowly start to wake Father James (a particularly hilarious scene featuring Dylan Moran)

Where the film suffers a bit is a defining story-line. There are characters, very nice scenes and some brilliant humour, but a clear story (apart from the beginning and end, which are outstanding) eludes me. Therefore not all scenes seem quite relevant.

Eventually they do find his limit, for better or worse. And for a while he joins their drunken rage. In the end, despite his valiant efforts, and his indomitable sense to do what is right, the only person that seems to take him seriously is from out of town. And as they all go about their business, only the grieving stranger that met him briefly under tragic circumstances, seems to have taken a single word to heart.

So it's definitely worth a watch, for the humour and characters, but mostly for the ingenious and startling beginning and end. Not to mention a stellar performance from Gleeson.

7/10

Spectre (2015)

So a huge "Day of the Dead"-parade as an introduction... That seems done several times before. A lot of the outfits almost seem like a homage to "Live and let Die" and Kanaga. Unnecessary. Then Bond shoots two out of three bad guys (where it later in the story turns out all he really had to do was snipe the one he failed to hit), and a building miraculously falls down, before he chases the third into the crowd and onto a helicopter, eventually killing him as well. At least he got his ring (with the legendary octopussy), and we got some cool helicopter-stunts.

Ralph Fiennes was brilliant in the former instalment, as an understated aristocrat with a sharp brain and an even sharper tongue. Unfortunately they waste his first scene having him do what Judi Dench does much better: Sneering at Bond for going too far on a mission. He is better when worrying about the future under C, but he had much better dialogues to work with in previous instalments. Though his later scenes with Andrew Scott is fantastic. Harris as Moneypenny is still good, but her lines are also less scrumptious this time around. Craig David is much more soft-spoken than earlier, though I fail to see what they're trying to accomplish by that.

The political agenda with a merging of intelligence, is a cute touch, a continuance of Skyfall in Bond being outdated. Despite casting Scott as C, they fail to make it an interesting character. Perhaps because the snivelling little shit that fails to understand the importance of history as he basks in his own knowledge of the future, is done to death.

A truly marvellous scene is the Spectre-meeting. Almost bereft of sound, as one at a time speak numbers and economics, and Waltz has the softest and calmest of voices, while sitting at the unlit part of the table. Not a particularly subtle or original tweak, but still a masterpiece of a scene. Another plus to Mendes for picking Monica Bellucci for a scene, (and a night with Bond). It is so much more believable with a sensual, dangerous flirt when the female doesn't have to provide an ID to get a drink.

Mendes is better at the tension and more intimate action than he is a bigger set-pieces and Bautista vs Craig on the train is great fun. Impossible not to let the mind wander towards Robert Shaw's brilliant Grant and his fight with Connery in "From Russia with Love". And speaking of old patterns (besides Waltz' remake overcoat from Dr. No); Blofeld (like his intro) is at his best when he's lurking in the shadows. But modern Bond-films are too frenetic for that to really be effective. When he does appear, though, it is to a most devastating effect. Unfortunately, his next scene takes a sledgehammer to the credibility built.

There are so many homages and hints to earlier films (even Pleasance's scar), that it's almost distracting. As to the "Bond-formula", this is the closest Mendes came. But, some mediocre scripting and poor editing, makes it a bit lacking nonetheless. And the brother-angle towards the end is laughably bad. Mendes does know how to end a film, though, and seems to deliver again, until he cocks it up by adding another 3 unnecessary minutes that only serve against their purpose.

6/10


Best car used: Aston Martin DB10
Most memorable drink served: Vodka Martini, dirty.
Henchmen: Dave Bautista as "Hinx". Finally a real henchman again.
Villain: The one and only Blofeld, courtesy of Christoph Waltz.
Best one-liner: "They always know which buttons to press"
Song: "The Writing's on the Wall" by Sam Smith... The song is anonymous, his voice is atrocious. Like a chipmunk that inhales helium before every refrain.
Bond-girl: Léa Seydoux as Madeleine. Feisty at first, but not impervious to Bond's charm over more than 30 minutes

Skyfall (2012)

After the shambles that was "Quantum of Solace", it's nice to see them at least try to insert a bit of context to the intro. Unfortunately it soon dissolves into another car-chase involving much unnecessary destruction of fruits. That they throw in both some motorcycle-chases and the classic fighting on top of a train, makes for a long intro. But at least there is some very clever usage of an excavator, and for the first time it ends with Bond being shot and losing the MacGuffin. Clever that, do nothing original, and then finish off with a huge surprise.

So we get a bit of a "Sherlock" as M types his obituary, alone late at night, before one of the most peculiar dialogues of the franchise as Ralph Fiennes tries to sack M through congratulations.

As for Bond, it's fair to say that Craig is much more believable as the scar-carrying, scruffy, worn, bitter and self-destructive Bond, coming off a major health-crisis than Brosnan could ever be. Beard or not. His versatility really makes Bond better, and as his age and general health is a recurring theme, they wisely keep him largely unshaven early on, to show off the grey. Dench is still fine, Fiennes breathtakingly subdued, and Naomie Harris (as the new Moneypenny) gives David great flirting and innuendos. Ben Whishaw as a younger Q also has some good banter with Craig, they really did bring out the good screenwriting here. And when you think the chips are in, a delightful supporting part from the utter brilliance that was Albert Finney as a surly Scot.

For a very dark and realistic Bond-movie they chose to give Bardem a look most ghastly character, with a stupid blonde wig and a bad suit over a much worse shirt. There is also the psychotic sadist in him with overly erotic mannerism that makes him a rather dreary villain.  His story-introduction with the rats is pitch perfect, though.

Mendes as a director is rather meticulous to detail, and it's noticeable throughout. For instance the colours of the smoke Marlohe blows at the bar. The lighting is perfect for a wide spread of thin smoke to enhance the wildly yellow filters he applies for this scene. His different filters are a bit too strong at times and his attention to detail does drag on a bit though, making the pace somewhat erratic, and the film quite frankly a bit long. being the longest to date. But Mendes is great at tension, decent at action (with one particularly brilliant set piece) and, as mentioned, the dialogue is far above what is to be expected from James Bond.

Even the plot is decent, though very far from a "Bond"-plot as it, when it all comes down to it, is a very elaborate revenge. He does make some very (and some not) subtle points for the observant viewer. The whole theme is older days vs modern days as both M and Bond defend themselves throughout, in very different ways. And as it turns out, it ends with Bond and two old geezers fighting the oldest of all fights, the stand-off. Having driven a 50 year-old car to a several hundred year old building made of bullet-resisting rock, and used manual labour and DIY-boobytraps to barricade themselves. Fantastic.

So to finish where I started, this film's strength is quite frankly that isn't really trying to follow the formula of Bond. But therein lies the disappointment as well (along with the villain). At least for the fans. That makes it the hardest film in the franchise to rate, as it's not a very good Bond film. It is, however, a good film, with a delectable ending.

8/10

Best car used: 1965 Aston Martin DB5
Most memorable drink served: 1962 Macallan.
Henchmen: A few Asian guys Bond easily kills.
Villain: Javier Bardem as Silva. Over the top. Particularly for such a dark film
Best one-liner: "Just changing carriages"
Song: "Skyfall" by Adele. Brilliant. A slow, methodical piano-intro with a crescendo into the refrains, despite Adele's voice staying within a small range.
Bond-girl: None, really

Quantum of Solace (2008)

So the lengthy pause gave us the brilliant Casino Royale. Would a very short break prove equally fruitful? N.O. No.

The intro is a really bad omen as a car chase bereft of all that made the predecessor brilliant, is all we get. Swerving cameras, frenetic editing, ridiculous stunts and what seems like utterly random shootings and chases, even involving lacklustre policemen firing at will. Short and useless and you start looking for Jason Statham.

Then there is a small dialogue between M and Bond before a genuinely interesting scene enters. That too, is cut very short and then there is more tedious action. Parts of it looks more like the makings of The Inventor in "Edward Scissorhands" than a believable action-flick. After 20 minutes 80% of Craig's lines are grunting and moaning.

After Craig's efforts in Casino Royale, it really is disappointing to see him reduced to a B-movie action-hero here. Director Marc Forster also fails to utilize Judi Dench as Martin Campbell did, but she still makes the best of it, and she does have a rather devastating zinger aimed at Bond. There are also welcome revisits from Giancarlo Giannini and Jeffrey Wright, though only the former makes any impact in what is the longest calm segment in the film. And the only smart scene, as it gives a realistic and dire insight into the effects such lines of work have, and the employees.

There are traces of plot here and there, and the angle where the CIA is trying to overthrow the Bolivian government using a private contractor isn't half bad. That part of the plot is well hidden for most of the running time, though, meaning it's mainly chasing and exploding. There is no henchmen of note, hardly a villain and the dry wit is absolutely sucked out of QoS. So the best thing you an say for this flick is that is at 106 minutes, it's the shortest Bond-film ever, and most of the time the pace is too frantic for boredom.

And at least it has a reference to Universal Exports.

3/10

Best car used: Aston Martin DBS
Most memorable drink served: Dry Martini (three measures of Gordon, one of Vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shake until it's ice cold then add a large, thin slice of lemon peel).
Henchmen: None, really.
Villain: Dominic Greene played by Mathieu Amalric. Conniving and always thinking big. Not really memorable though.
Best one-liner: None
Song: "Another Way to Die" by Jack White and Alicia Keys. A strange mix with his beat and her annoying vocals. One of the more quaint duets.
Bond-girl: Olga Kurylenko as Camille. Adds little, if anything, and is outshone by Arterto

Casino Royale (2006)

So out with with the glitz, glamour and smarmy arrogance of Pierce Brosnan and in with Daniel Craig. And do they ever make it obvious with a pre-credit opening all shot in black and white with an utterly brutal brawl of a fight, followed by the coldest assassination Bond has done since Dr. No. It's bleak, it's realistic (for Bond) and it's riveting, even giving a great introduction as to his 00-status.

Though the start seems very unlike Bond from the 80's and 90's, our hero soon travels to Madagascar for some fairly straightforward action to make up for the surprisingly clever start. It does add to the image of Craig as a particularly brutish and pragmatic 007, though. And they really make a point of separating him from Brosnan having him mistaken for a valet. Certainly the only Bond where that would be a realistic possibility.

Craig is a most different kind of MI6 and displays a lot more emotions than his predecessors. And must stronger such. Whether he is tortured or flirting, his expressions are stronger, his language borderline vulgar towards Le Chiffre. There are several lines the former actors simply couldn't get away with. Judi Dench is still perfect as M, whether manipulative, friendly, or straight out angry (a most enjoyable rant) you immediately accept her as someone who can take on the Prime Minister and Bond before lunch and still feel up for a dictator's head for supper. And it's most fitting that Craig's warmest smiles are always aimed at her. Green a perfect fit for our hero, and their tête-à-tête on their first meeting is fantastically written, and well acted, though best by Craig. Generally Green is better after she's shaken like Bond's Martini by the most gruelling fight ever depicted in this franchise, superbly directed and edited. Otherwise there is special mention for Giancarlo Giannini for a perfect supporting role, as is his habit.

Considering how different an instalment in the franchise this is, they stay surprisingly loyal to the concept. Bond seduces and shags the bad guy's woman (while extracting information), thus getting her killed. He is recklessly arrogant (taking great pride in it along the way), he makes women who loathe him turn. He drinks. And he gambles. By far the best sequence in the franchise as a game of Texas hold 'em keeps us at the edge of our seats over middle-aged men (mostly) playing cards for over half an our of running time.

If there is a weakness here (apart from some very cheese lines when Bond and Vesper finally connect), it's in the plot, as Bond seems to stumble over more key pieces than Inspector Gadget the first hour.

The pace is frenetic, but director Campbell seems to find a perfect blend of action, suspense, drama and dialogue to keep it flowing seamlessly. Not to mention that he dares to keep significant parts subtle, giving the film some much-needed smartness. The set-pieces are still huge, but never cartoonish and daft as they keep in mind that this is not a Marvel-flick. The action (and torture for that matter) has no nifty little spins or gadgets. Just knuckles meeting flesh (Bond has the scars to show it) and some gruelling close-ups make it difficult to watch at times, adding to the bleakness. Even the car crashes are just metal contorted and smashed. No fire-bombs anywhere. Add to that a scene of perfect suspense as Bond kills Dimitrios in stealth surrounded by hundreds of people, not to mention the brilliant scene in which he tries to counteract a poisoning, and this is a classic spy-film, regardless of franchise. The added beauty of Vesper's death and Bond's heartbreaking attempts to resuscitate just nails it, perfectly scored by David Arnold's solemn 4-note theme. And then he's back to where he started; failing to get where he wanted to be, assassinating

9/10

Best car used: 1964 Aston Martin DB5
Most memorable drink served: Dry Martini (three measures of Gordon, one of Vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shake until it's ice cold then add a large, thin slice of lemon peel).
Henchmen: Alex Dimitrios. Apart from his death, a very dull character
Villain: Mads Mikkelsen as Le Chifre. Understated and calmly evil is always better.
Best one-liner: "Now the whole world is gonna know you died scratching my balls"
Song: "You know my Name" by Chris Cornell. Not bad, but unable to match the brilliant intro.
Bond-girl: Eva Green as Vesper Lynd. Wonderful character, fitting to break Bond's heart twice

Die Another Day (2002)

Bond brings some friends to lift diamonds. And so he has access to North Korean military equipment posing as an arms dealer. But, alas, the enemy has updated information as to his real identity and instead of spying, we are treated to a lengthy chase scene after Bond uses his wristwatch to create a very flammable diversion. But the idea of racing hovercrafts in mine fields are genuinely cool and most entertainingly executed, although it ends pretty stupidly because action still seems to be more important than reason and logic in a single scene. Then Bond is tortured through the entire vignette. That's a first.

The casting here is the worst in decades. Brosnan delivers as he's supposed to. Berry overacts terrible, Stephens is mostly like a petulant child. With Pike unable to really find her footing, and the extras including Madonna, the casting was obviously done by a dozen drunk monkeys trying to write Shakespeare. Sure, the director might be rightly criticised for not getting the best out of Pike, Stephens and the great Michael Madsen, but casting Madonna is just insane in any film. At least Cleese is good. And Samantha Bond's scene towards the end is a real gem.

Fencing with the villain was an excellent idea, but unfortunately director Tamahori is tempted to overdo it, and the whole scene makes Madonna look like the well-balanced one. The action in general is better than in a while though, as Tamahori mostly manages to keep it at acceptable length and tries not to overdo the stunts and explosions too much  (apart from the insanely stupid paragliding). Besides, he actually has a couple of cool ideas (apart from the black hole of daftness in the paragliding). He doesn't really seem to like tension though, so he chooses to disregard that option, even when easily applied.

So it's not without its strengths and charms, but they've not bothered to write decent characters, and managed to cast poor characters with all the wrong actors. And that does hurt your bottom line (in quality. Fiscally, this film did great). Thus endeth the reign of Pierce Brosnan

5/10

Best car used: Aston Martin Vanquish. Delectable
Most memorable drink served: '61 Bollinger
Henchmen: Zao. A martial arts version of Michael Jackson walking into a diamond storm.
Villain: Gustav Graves. Stupid character, badly acted
Best one-liner: "I think I broke her heart". (Jinx' line)
Song: "Die another Day" by Madonna. Horrid, despicably poor. Almost half as bad as her part in the film
Bond-girl: Halle Berry as Jinx. Pays homage to Andress. Otherwise forgettable though one of the strongest flirters of the franchise, partly because she overhits the ball.

The World is not Enough (1999)

Brosnan's Bond seems to have to pose as a banker every time. But the intro starts of decently with  brutish 007 and no less than two hidden killers. With a nifty escape, you'd think they were pleased. But no! There's another cool assassination, before it falls stupidly apart with a brilliant sniper suddenly unable to both pick a decent weapon,or hit anything with any weapon. Then there's a lengthy boat chase with tiresome music and the most ridiculous stunts of the series, and finally we can get going.

One of the finest actors of the franchise was, of course, Desmond Llewellyn. At 85, he grooms John Cleese as his replacements and leaves us with "Always have an escape plan" as his final words after 35 years as Q. He was killed in a car accident later that year, and will never be fully replaced. Another nice revisited character is that of Robbie Coltrane. M is more personally involved this time, and albeit good, I prefer Dench when arrogantly on top of things. Denise Richards was never a good actress, and to cast her as a genius physicist in a film that has Dench as well as Sophie Marceau (though the latter not at the top of her game), is beyond stupid. And she's not exactly helped by being dressed in clothes to short for Lara Croft.

Director Michael Apted does what was popular in the 90's if you lacked quality: You exaggerate stunts and action to the point where the crowd simply roll their eyes. Every time two things bump into each other here, a gasoline bomb goes off. So extreme that the exploding items usually crash into oil-drums of gasoline.

The pipe-line chase is good tension with lots at stake. The flooding scenes in the submarine even better in that respect, and the film has plenty of action and some smart writing. But there's just as many glaring mistakes in the writing, so I suppose it evens out. It feels more like an action-film most of the time, and not really a Bond. And it's not really a great action-film either

4/10

Best car used: BMW Z8
Most memorable drink served: Vodka Martini. Shaken not stirred.
Henchmen:  Robert Carlyle as Renard. A most vicious psychopath.
Villain: Sophie Marceau as Elektra King. WAY down on the list.
Best one-liner: "One last screw".
Song: "The World is not Enough" by Garbage. Not at all bad.
Bond-girl: Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist . Oh the humanity

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

So back at the 2-year interval, and back at blowing up airports. Bond saves some mountain from nuclear meltdown before having an aerial dogfight with MIG's. The safe formula it is.

As for Brosnan he is more of a natural the second time around. Meaning he tries less, and ends up about where he was, perhaps not even there. But as the years progress, the casting has bigger names.

Pryce is a treat as always, going in and out of cool callousness and enthusiastic megalomania, but always polite in his phrasing (his manners not so much). Bond and Carver has brilliant banter too. Generally Bond's quips and innuendos are plentiful. Hatcher is a very memorable, but mostly because Schiavelli is so fantastic at disposing of her. As for the regulars, Dench is still good, and Q has all the fatherly love and annoyance you need. But they do throw a bit too many characters into the mix, with just a line or two, and that makes the film look disjointed at times. A further problem is Michelle Yeoh. When Bond has had Bond-girls that were other agencies' counterparts, they've always had plenty of screentime. Yeoh doesn't apart from stunts and action-scenes, so there really is no time to strike a connection with 007. And she doesn't do that particularly well in the few scenes they do have.

The action is sub-par for Bond, but at least the remote-controlled BMW is fun. And the stunt-men (and women) probably had enough bruises to show. There is some tension (mostly a nice double-jeopardy for Brosnan and Yeoh towards the end), but I'd expect director Spottiswoode to get more out of it considering there are boats and torpedoes involved. How hard is it to just leave the camera with two shots whilst having the radar increase bleeps?

David Arnold is a simpler, more modern composer than John Barry, making the music fitting to the scenes, but very uninteresting as such. And some is quite frankly just tedious synth- and bass-crap.

So there are no real points where this flick really fails, but it just doesn't engage the viewer. You don't care as much as you should, and you're not as enthralled as you should. Perhaps the lack of exotic locations and a sheer laziness to formulate is where it goes wrong. So it's OK. It just feels like a safe choice, without much creative force. Forgettable.

6/10

Best car used: Aston Martin DB5
Most memorable drink served: Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred.
Henchmen: Vincent Schiavelli as Dr. Kaufman is just a beautiful creature, whereas Otto as Stamper is more of a throwback to Hitler's perfect rase and Stephen Lang's "Party Crasher" from 1991.
Villain: Jonathan Pryce as Elliot Carver. True megalomaniac
Best one-liner: "They'll print anything these days".
Song: "Tomorrow never Dies". The only song not to break the Billboard. Depressing, as it's one of my favourites.
Bond-girl: Michelle Yeoh as Wei Lin

Goldeneye (1995)

The graphic violence of "License to kill" had killed Bond at the box-office, and it would take an unprecedented six years before 007 was to appear again. When he did it was in a most familiar way. A stealthy sneak-in, followed by an exploding exit. The problem is, the intro alone tells us Martin Campbell is going to struggle to find his theme in the following two hours.

Brosnan was expected to play Bond 20 years earlier but was denied by his producers, as he had signed a long term contract for the piece of shit that was "Remington Steele". He tries very hard to balance the comical wit of Moore, the cold and calm Connery, and the passion of the Dalton. He doesn't really make it all the way there, but it's not all his fault and his attempt is a good one.

Famke Janssen is a vicious and entertaining flirt, but her sexual arousal whenever there's death involved is just daft and probably designed to prey at 15 year old boys. I hate marketing. Dench is a stroke of genius though, and naturally the exceptionally and continually underrated Sean Bean delivers. Joe Don Baker is much better as a surly but jovial CIA-operative than he was as a barking mad weapons-dealer, and Alan Cumming not without entertainment value. Was ever Robbie Coltrane miscast? Doubt it. Scorupco isn't bad but her screaming is better left to Jamie Lee Curtis. With a cast more British than the Harry Potter-franchise, it is a strange thing to hear all speak "russio-anglo".

They do make an effort to bring the franchise back after its financial demise from the 80's. The original car is there. The Bollinger. the introduction, the vodka martini, M, Q, the card games, the wonderful sparring with Moneypenny (the best in decades here, with Samantha Bond). They did fuck up and give him a BMW to make some sponsor money, though. Perhaps a bit obvious all in all, but you have to admire the effort.

So the nostalgia is total, the action decent, the stunts a bit over the top and the tension restricted to one scene. Serra's score is (apart from the variations on existing themes) nothing short of an aberration, and all in all Bond is back the way the masses seem to want him. The biggest problem is, still, that they fail to put the pieces together for a continuing theme. At times it's quite serious, other times more cartoonish. It's still not the worst in that respect by far though. And there is full score for effort, and bonus points for the fight scenes between Brosnan and Bean.

7/10

Best car used: 1965 Aston Martin DB5
Most memorable drink served: Bollinger 1988
Henchmen: Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp. The second girl in the franchise to kill men by smothering them with her thighs. And it wasn't clever the first time.
Villain: Alec Trevelyan/006 - Sean Bean as a Cossack hating his queen.
Best one-liner: "The writing's on the wall". So good even Q appreciates it.
Song: "Goldeneye". Written by Bono and performed by Tina Turner. Unsurprisingly uninteresting. There are some decent strings, though.
Bond-girl: Izabella Scorupco as Natalya Simonova

License to Kill (1989)

So Bond is the best man in Leiter's wedding in one of the longest intros in the franchise. The latter has a drug-dealer (Robert Davi as Sanchez) to catch on his wedding day, so a detour is required. Predictably they seem to save the day, and parachute to the wedding to the awaiting bride and crowd after some small chases and a very slick special effect tow-in.

But alas! This time there's a cruel twist as Sanchez escapes in time to have a shark eat Leiter's legs and kill his wife. The former a most gruelling scene for this franchise. So there will be no spy-theme this time around. It's a pure personal vendetta against a drug-lord after Bond goes AWOL without his license to kill (Hence the title). How original.

For Dalton though, this works a treat. He excels as a driven, enraged avenger with a singular mission. His own. Davi was a shoe-in for psycho's in this period, and delivers nicely. Del Toro plays his part with flair, but he doesn't have the seriousness about him as a henchman should, as he either stands behind his boss or brings a whole posse. I've seen better actresses than Lowell, but she does spark a decent chemistry with Dalton and suits him perfectly. Zerbe and Soto bring what can be expected from their respective parts. The big treat here though is an extended part for Llewellyn as he tries to mediate between the two women fighting for Bond's affection.

Barry was replaced by Michael Kamen for this film and he predictably opts for more guitars, whether standard electric or more acoustic southern sounds. Not the worst choice, though I do miss the horns.

So at last John Glen managed to find a singular theme throughout a movie. And it's a dark action film. There are some excellent water-stunts and the film really plays to Dalton's strengths. Unfortunately not to Bond's. But it was the darkest Bond to date. And it does have the most callous death Bond has ever inflicted. It still lacks much of the foundation of what Bond is supposed to be.

6/10

Best car used: 1978 Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
Most memorable drink served: Medium dry vodka martini, shaken not stirred
Henchmen: Benicio del Toro as knife-wielding Dario. A most sadistic and deadly little runt.
Villain: Robert Davi as Frank Sanchez. No one better in that decade to play a psycho.
Best one-liner: "Looks like he came to a dead end"
Song: "License to Kill" by Gladys Knight. A welcome throwback to older eras, but not quite to scale.
Bond-girl: Carey Lowell as Pam Bouvier. A personal favourite of mine.

The Living Daylights (1987)

So there's a new angle here as a training mission goes wrong and a 00-agent falls to his death, leaving only the mysterious note (that we're not allowed to see until an hour later). There are stunts galore, including burning crates of TNT falling off transit at high speed, making sure there are more than enough explosions to set the mood. Bond's landing is of course perfect. He even dons the grin.

Dalton is rather pissy and brutish from the go here. He had reportedly demanded a less comical Bond, and he does deliver on that note. He never looks as suave as his predecessors in mannerisms nor clothing, but he does wear his arrogance well. With more of a sneer and sometimes exasperation. It makes for a more realistic character, re-introducing the cold,callous Bond. Though with some real affection for his woman. A man of passion indeed, and far from the quipping and smiling Moore.

Tension has improved in this instalment, as sniping tends to set that up brilliantly. The storyline is also better than in recent years, with a defecting Russian general at the centre of events. Furthermore, there is more of a spy feel as someone has taken the job of writing some smart pieces where the different parties elaborately play each other.

After 24 years, Lois Maxwell decided to call it a day and Caroline Bliss takes over as Moneypenny. Her chemistry with Bond lacks the class of the Canadian. John Rhys-Davies as Russian General Pushkin is predictably jovial and solid. Maryam d'Abo is a bit back to the 60's a demure damsel in over her head in need of rescue. She does it decently, though a bit over the top at times. Baker is not quite the villain you want. Just a mad American, not unlike Ed Begley in "The Billion Dollar Brain". And is he really the villain? Or is that the more buffoonish Koskov in the not very apt hands of Jeroen Krabbè. Probably the latter. Even worse.

Barry's score is a times dramatic and nice, but suffers greatly from the synth-sound of the 80's. Not his strong suit, and quite frankly just another example of a tragic decade for music.

So John Glen does manage to create more of a caper than in many years, and at times some realistic spy-themes. But without a real villain, this still fails to qualify as a great film. And fair enough that Dalton didn't want to be a cartoon Bond, but they could have provided him with one single one-liner, couldn't they?

6/10
Best car used: Aston Martin V8 Vantage (Me want)
Most memorable drink served: Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred (but drugged)
Henchmen: Necros in the hands of Andreas Wisniewski. Efficient and brutal.
Villain: Jeroen Krabbe as Koskov
Best one-liner: "He got the boot"
Song: "The Living Daylights" A-Ha. Very 80's, plenty of synth. As Barry hated working with A-ha, his trademarks are not really easy to spot, unfortunately. 
Bond-girl: Maryam d'Abo. A bit too demure for my taste, but she is a cellist.

A View to a Kill (1985)

The Russians are back in spades as 007 finds a dead agent in the snow (retrieving a MacGuffin), and is forced to escape with some quite extreme ski-stunts. Ending it with a submarine disguised as an ice-flake, is a bit much though. Particularly as it obviously is a poor prop, easily deducted from the movements it makes when Bond steps on it. It is a short and quite unmemorable intro.

Casting is highly variable this time around. Apart from Walken making the second best of a half-wit character, there is special mention goes to Patrick MacNee. There is real sadness as Grace Jones kills Sir Godfrey in the Rolls, even for Bond as he discovers him. Willoughby Gray as Dr. Mortner is a travesty and Jean Rougerie would fit better in a Pink Panther-skit. Actually most of the Paris-scenes are cartoonish and stupid, with characters to match.

As for Moore, this was his "one too many" as he's clearly too old for his character. He was 58 at the time, and looking it, failing to deliver the virility we've come to expect.That Grace Jones has so much of it, particularly in bed, adds insult to injury.

Apart from the earliest instalments, this is perhaps John Barry's finest score as there are horns blazing at high intensity. Particularly the action scenes are set alight by his work. Why they would taint an early scenes with "California Girls" is beyond me, however.

The action is decent, and the stunts quite all right, though often blemished by over-acting in a comical sense that doesn't fit with the villains ruthlessness and cold-blooded murders, whether one on one or in huge numbers. Generally, the level of silly is miles above what it should be, and this film never really settles on what it wants to be.

This really isn't a good film. Glen screws up again by introducing too many half-important characters, instead of concentrating on a few. Thus we are once again without a real Bond-girl and a generally messy affair. With a plot that seriously fails to make sense on most levels, the best thing about this is John Barry's score. And that can be bought separately.

4/10


Best car used: 1962 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud II
Most memorable drink served: Bollinger '75
Henchmen: Grace Jones as May Day. As unpredictable as they come
Villain: Max Sorin. A megalomaniac of proportions in the hands of Christopher Walken
Best one-liner: "Does anybody else want to drop out?"
Song: "A View to a Kill" by Duran Duran. Stylish and dramatic. Well done.
Bond-girl: Tanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton. Drowned in stronger women

Octopussy (1983)

So Bond is captured, escapes promptly and tricks the Cubans into sending a missile into their own hangar, before landing at a rural gas station to refill gas. Cool start! That the next part has 009 dressed as a clown killed by circus-artists adds a bit more tension and intrigue. And the squeaky sound of his shoes as he lands after a jump is a delightful detail.

I most enjoy the Bond-movies with a good political background. Steven Berkoff's Russian general, looking to invade Eastern Europe, is a most welcome angle. Berkoff does suffer a bit under a well of semi-villains though. Khamal Khan and Octopussy distract from him. From his opening scene, it takes almost 50 minutes until he appears again. In addition, there is no shortage of villains either, leaving all of them with too little screentime to make any real impact.

Only the Brits can make an art-auction entertaining and tense, and Moore is the perfect culprit to raise gasps and shock amongst old aristocrats by the sheer wink of his eye. The follow-up gambling with Khan is also a great treat, adding to a fine first hour. Generally, the dialogues are on the better side of the franchise, and Moore has a wide range of quips for all situations. Smirk-factor sky-high.

As usual, director John Glen makes excellent use of the exotic location, though there are stereotypes galore, bordering on outright racism in today's world. Every thing you ever heard about Indian culture, whether true or not, is here in spades. Glen also dispenses of the fast-forward action, and does a nice job with his fight scenes and vehicle chases.

The title-song however, is so bad it begs belief, and Rita Coolidge hardly carries the tunes. Only the eighties could like this. Barry's score is very good on the other hand.

So there are a bit too many bad-guys here, and a shocking lack of cars and drinks, as well as an untraditional Bond-woman that appears late and has very few scenes with Bond. The plot from the intro utterly loses itself in some diamond smuggling and the story seems to have been muddled up at several points. But it excels at dialogue, action, tension and stunts (driving in particular), and should not be overlooked by the fans

6/10

Best car used: Mercedes Benz 250SE
Most memorable drink served: No named drinks
Henchmen: Gobinda. A huge, mute Indian. Like an exotic and dull Jaws. Also Khamal Khan, who takes many of the scenes usually reserved for the main villain, and two douchy twins from the circus.
Villain: General Orlov. A very good, though underused character.
Best one-liner: "Having trouble keeping it up, Q?"
Song: "All Time High" by Rita Coolidge. Bad, even for this decade
Bond-girl: Octopussy - Maud Adams. Resourceful, but with an undercommunicated role.

For Your Eyes Only (1981)

So could anything get better going from the 70's to the 80's? Oh yes. Definitely yes. Bond goes straight from the grave of his wife to a crashing helicopter, that he in turn uses to kill arch-nemesis Blofeld. And all before the vignette. Most needed interest after the dreary puddle that was "Moonraker".

The first scene after the vignette is rather bleak as a ship full of agents is sunk with ensuing chaos, mass-death (usually reserved for a bigger, less personal scale in the end-scene) and sad destinies, made worse as Bond later swims around in corpses in an attempt to retrieve the ATAC (MacGuffin of the day). The sinking of the ship does feel as if it should have been the opening scene, leaving the very first scene to seem a bit moot. With the next scene being the cold-blooded murder of Melina's parents (ending in a most ill-adviced extreme close-up of Bouquet), it really leaves us longing for some lightness. Thankfully the next scene is Moore and Maxwell.

Casting is also vastly improved from Moonraker. Apart from key players Bouquet and Gothard, Topol and Julian Glover are excellent actors giving good value for money. Add to that a fine turn from Geoffrey Keen, and one of the finest interactions between Bond and Q, FYEO really has a bit extra here. And for an added bonus, spot a young Charles Dance trying to kill our hero. Bouquet isn't at her best when being hateful and cold, and the frequent close-ups from director John Glen does nothing to aid her. She is a more modern turn, and can kill in cold blood. Most delightful.

Barry was canned for this instalment, most likely to make room for a more 80's sound in Bill Conti. Big mistake as there are more annoying bleeps. Thankfully the action has improved, so the music can stay in the background. Particularly the chase with the biathlon-nazi is entertaining, as well as the 2CV-chase. At times, they still fall for the temptation of soft, unfunny, jokes to deteriorate the quality of the action, unfortunately. They could also have reduced the amount of winter olympic sports they try to kill Bond in, to at least single digits, but it is still varied enough to entertain.

Moore is getting a bit older here, and nothing shows it more than when a top athlete works all her charm to get him into bed and he responds with "Get your clothes on, and I'll buy you an icecream". Probably a smart move, as he has enough difficulty looking young enough for Bouquet.

So the action is good, the acting above average, the story very original for a Bond-caper (with Bond caught in the middle of a Greek turf-war), and the music terrible, though the underwater-action towards the end has plenty of late tension. Moore redeems himself from the horror that was "Moonraker".

7/10

Best car used: 1980 Lotus Esprit Turbo
Most memorable drink served: Theotaki Aspo
Henchmen: Michael Gothard as Locque. A cold, calculating bastard that feels most intimidating. Even with those glasses.
Villain: Julian Glover as Kristatos. A most conniving liar. Fresh trait for a villain.
Best one-liner: "He had no head for heights"
Song: "For Your Eyes only". Sheena Easton. A poor man's Bassey. Not the best ballade either.
Bond-girl: Carole Bouquet as Melina Havelock. Now here's strong and feisty (though her car is shit).

Moonraker (1979)

So another big and important MacGuffin is stolen (in a few seconds this time around and Bond is thrown off a plane without a parachute by the only henchman ever to return to the franchise. Not very memorable, but at least Barry is back (with one of his less impressive scores).

Lois Chiles is not as believable as Bach as a strong woman, her role much less intriguing than that off Bach. That leaves her lingering between the old and the new kind of Bond-girl. Michael Lonsdale is very suave and a nice addition to the megalomaniacs that threaten Bond every two years or so. And he is equipped with the most fascinating line: "Look after mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him". He works best when he thinks he's winning though, as his arrogance is more interesting than his annoyance. Richard Kiel has one absolutely outstanding scene in the carnival, but he doesn't really bring anything to the table this time that wasn't there last time, and when they angle him towards a petite, freckled and tiny girlfriend with pigtails, he, nor the film, has credibility left.

It does have it's moments, and Bond's insolence towards Drax is very amusing. The pheasant-scene most brilliant. The action is decent, though Gilbert still has a tendency to just increase the speed of his camera instead of trying to make it look real. As people got a shorter attention span towards the eighties, the action-scenes occur at a higher frequency. And a small homage to other sci-fi flicks is most amusing and welcome. Moore as Eastwood, really not.

But this seems to be a lazy story (with a rather stupid plot, even for this franchise) to throw Bond into the space-market created by Star Wars and others. It's got a ditto lazy score by Barry, more mediocre action from Lewis Gilbert and a re-used villain that turns into a cartoon. Probably the worst in the franchise, and certainly up until this point

4/10


Best car used: Rolls Royce Silver Shadow 1973 (Bond is only a passenger in all cars)
Most memorable drink served: Bollinger '69
Henchmen: Richard Kiel again. Not as threatening this time.
Villain: Michael Lonsdale as Hugo Drax.
Best one-liner: "I discovered he had a crush on me"
Song: "Moonraker". One last chance for Shirley Bassey. Nice, but not dramatic enough.
Bond-girl: Lois Chiles as Holly Goodhead (Oh yes).

The Spy who Loved me (1977)

There's nothing quite like kidnapping a huge vessel (submarine here) with nuclear weapons to set up some grandeur to the plot. And when both the British and Russians lose one, big politics with big consequences set a most intriguing scenario. Top that with a ski chase (done better in OHMSS), ending with a huge parachute with the British flag, and the vignette can roll proudly.

The casting deserves special mention this time. In addition to Richard Kiel and Barbara Bach, Walter Gotell is an exquisite Russian general. Add that to the regulars, Llewelyn and Lee, and quite a few scenes are better than you've come to expect from a franchise that keeps all focus on 2-3 characters. Bach's banter with Moore is most amusing, and brings out the very best of Bond's infantile teasing. A flirt where Bond has to work for it, adds a more modern touch. Curd Jürgens also has a most threatening face, particularly when he smiles whilst leaving his eyes very intense, cold and evil.

Again, they do well in the tension department. Director Gilbert takes full usage of Kiel's slow methodical movements and hulking frame to create the illusion of an immovable object that kills for fun. Bond really must stop travelling by train. It always ends in a brawl with someone very large.

They picked Marvin Hamlisch to compose the score here, and that was a big mistake. Apart from the titlesong, it's mostly bad synth and other unwanted bleeps, apart from variations on the main theme done on a dozen different instruments. There is some excellent usage of classical music early on though, particularly Bach's "Air" set to the background of a terrified young woman being thrown to the shark.

So there is tension, brilliant flirting and mediocre action. Though Gilbert keeps his action-sequences blissfully short, so they still have merit. Apart from where he increases speed of film. That looks stupid in any film age. The end set-piece aboard the tanker is excellent, but with horrid music, and mediocrity in action, the general casting and the fine chemistry of the leads doesn't quite make this film quite stand out

6/10


Best car used: Lotus Esprit S1 - Wet Nellie
Most memorable drink served: Vodka martini, shaken not stirred (ordered by Bach)
Henchmen: Richard Kiel as Jaws. The only henchman cool enough to appear twice.
Villain: Karl Stromberg played by Curd Jürgens. He has a most wicked smile.
Best one-liner: "All those feathers and he still can't fly"
Song: "Nobody does it better". A lovely ballad by Carly Simon
Bond-girl: Barbara Bach as Russian Agent XXX. Feisty and a perfect match to Roger Moore's youthful swagger and charm.

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

John Barry sets up a wonderfully sneaky tune for the intro, and the exoticness of the location and beauty of the woman, gives hope that this will be an improvement of the former instalment. A most agile Christopher Lee brings further hope. The intro is filled with suspense and ends on a great one-liner. Fine start!

Bond's first scene with M is also a treat. As usual, 80% of the conversation is implied. As it should be. Generally, Moore seems more comfortable this time around, making full use of his wit and looks, slipping seamlessly between brutality and charm at the wink of an eye, rounding it off with sheer callousness. Yup, all in the same scene.

The film works best at the smaller, suspenseful details. The eyes of Lee over a gun in the dark, with a sly, slow jazz-tune. Fantastic. Another fine detail is the HQ in Hong Kong. Not to mention Scaramanga's island. Even as Bond goes, it doesn't get more exotic than that. And Lee really is a stroke of genius. So many scenes are better due to the sheer quality of his acting.

Unfortunately, after setting up what seemed interesting, director Guy Hamilton, falls for the temptation to increase silliness. He even, for reasons unknown to every living creature on every planet chartered, decides to re-introduce us to Clifton James' insufferable Sheriff Pepper (leaving him yammering and wailing throughout what would otherwise be a decent car-hunt). And then went on to ruin one of the finest car-stunts in film history, with a stupid cork-screw sound.

Furthermore, there are some script-glitches concerning miss Anders. Why would she want Bond to save her, and then not cooperate?

So in conclusion, it's better than "Live and let Die" but strains to find the level of realism vs humour it wants to display, and is therefore uneven throughout. Suspense brilliant, action decent, humour just god-awful. Perhaps they just rushed it. Pity.

6/10


Best car used: 1974 AMC Hornet ... This film's a travesty car-wise
Most memorable drink served: Dom Perignon '64
Henchmen: Hervè Villechaize as Nick Nack. Something for the kids.
Villain: Scaramanga. You can't really go wrong with Christopher Lee, though an assassin with a third nipple is hardly the most spectacular backstory.
Best one-liner: "You have no idea what it went through to get here"
Song: "The Man with the Golden Gun" by Lulu. Most jazzy and cool.
Bond-girl: Brit Ekland as Mary Goodnight. Very hippie and fit for her times. The second Bond-girl in 3 films to put something useful in her bikini-bottom.