The Gauntlet (1977)

Eastwood as an alcoholized no-nonsense cop? That hates authorities and paperworks? In the seventies? How original.

And it is fun to see what you could get away with of discrimination at that age. All the cops are men, and Eastwood is most happy to slap his female prisoner around and applying simple rules "If you mess around, I'll put the cuffs on you, if you talk dirty, I'll gag you and if you try to run, I'll shoot you". You know he will (and he does), you know it's a blatant abuse of power... and still! Both entertaining and cool! Eastwood really could get away with anything those days.

Sondra Locke was dating Eastwood at this point, and she is better with facial expressions than she is with her lines. She does bring out the true scumbag in Eastwood, though, so I suppose there is chemistry. Apart from them, most people are to be regarded as extras, apart from the legendary Pat Hingle. Unfortunately, his character is given nothing to work with and should have been either scrubbed or seriously altered.

As always, Lalo Schifrin provides the score for Eastwood's 70's-flick, and though scarce, it is very good. If you like 70's jazz.

Eastwood seems to want every shooting-scene to be extremely thorough and so they use 2000 bullets when 10 would suffice. I suppose it seemed dramatic at the time. But for the end game it really is cool. Clint Eastwood driving a rigged bus through Phoenix with the entire Phoenix P.D. lined up to shoot at him on the way. Very cool.

The story has the same problem as the film. There are some clever thoughts here and there, but triviality and boredom lurks just behind it. Some fun set pieces, a few good scenes, but all in all not very believable nor enticing.

As a way of securing Eastwood's reputation as the most macho actor of his generation, this'll do. As a film, it's very mediocre.

5/10

Transformers (2007)

A movie like Transformers certainly needs a voiceover, and Peter Cullen demonstrates that he is still an apt choice for Optimus Prime

The first part of this flick is very much without any point of originality and Bay just seems to check things off as we go. Bad omen. The soldiers giving each other a "hard" time, the helicopter, the baby that hasn't seen it's daddy (the natural leader of the soldiers) yet with its mother. And of course, the resolute military response met with utter destruction and serious ass-kicking leading to the inevitable "how can we ever beat something so smart and powerful" question that will set up the young hero; Cue the devastatingly useless Shia LaBeouf, naturally a social misfit of a somewhat stressed but smart type. All written in 4 minutes by a dozen chimpanzees.

As Michael Bay probably knows he is the most stupid director in Hollywood and his films provide the mental challenge of scratching your scrotum, he makes sure all women (including all the extras)are stunning. Even the nerdy ones that hang with other nerds with beards and unwashed hair are absolutely stunning. Utterly stupid. Megan Fox works though, but it is a bit more believable that girl-next-door Kirsten Dunst want Peter Parker than that pornstar-sexy Fox would go for the useless Labeouf.

The family provides a couple of chuckles, but mostly unnecessary background for the annoying dork. Or like Ironhide put it: "The parents are very irritating. Can I take them out?". I understand your pain, Ironhide. Yes you can!

So Labeouf will mostly run around screaming things like "nonononononononono", drooling at women or acting like a dufus. And for this he gets the girl. Argh!

Bay overdoes the use of slo-mo in every film he makes, and this is no exception. And when he leaves what probably is supposed to be a subtle hint, it's like standing in a desert where a nuke goes off for everyone who doesn't have both eyes in a bag of chips.

When it comes to comic relief, Bay is more useless than most, and he fails particularly stunningly here. As mentioned Labeouf spends most of his time on-screen (and that is most considerable) whining and screaming. So does all the comic relief, thus making the level of annoyance grave.

And when it comes to romance he just adds a sun in the back shining through alongside some closeups. God, I hate Michael Bay.

So, is there any redemption? Well, Transformers are cool, as is John Turturro. He's so above and beyond the rest of the trash here that I suspect he was allowed to write his own lines for parts of the film (not the last third). And there are a couple of cool set-pieces here, though most are destroyed partly either by overuse of slow-motion or Bay's eagerness to rotate cameras.

So 2 points for Optimus and 1 for the fact that at least you rarely have time to be bored.

3/10

What women want (2000)

Another potentially funny comedy lost in the sheer boredom of predictable love and clichés.

Because this flick starts out with actual laughs. Mel Gibson was born to play a Sinatra-loving playboy who knows little about women he spends more than 24 hours with and gets away with most things due to charm and power. He practically owns the screen the first for most of the first hour. To watch him indulge in life and exploit knowing what women think is a most satisfying comedic experience. Then it all crumbles.
I'm not certain what the director is trying to do here. First she creates a character out of the ordinary, and then she works herself to the bone trying to fit him into a role as ordinary and boring as the rest of us. I suppose that is the way it is with women. This makes the movie seems a bit half and half. The first half is filled with jokes, chauvinism and flair. The second has relationships, morale and predictability in every scene. An annoying snooze-fest. So I suppose any couple seeing this flick will have scenes they like, though never the same one.

Oh, and one last time for those on the back row: Men dressing as women is NOT comedy. And it has not been since Lemmon & Curtis. So please, pretty please stop inserting these scenes in 20% of the comedies made every year.

As for the score: Half and half

5/10

Galaxy Quest (1999)

OK, so this is a cheap spoof. The clichés are aplenty. But it's fun. Simply and plain enjoyment of a parody. Tim Allen is like a first generation torpedo. He can't really be sent anywhere but straight forward. But as long as you get the target right in front of him he still hits. So with a good support cast and some good lines, he can actually be funny. Rickman truly is the fun part here, ironically. His exceptional disdain for his own part with his professional background makes for a great character to stabilize Allen's usual antics.

Otherwise, Allen is joined by Sigourney Weaver, Sam Rockwell, Tony Shalhoub and Justin Long for a most impressive cast. Particularly strange as Allen is headlining, but I differ.

David Newman is a very safe bet when it comes to comedy-scores and does another fine piece of work. Even in short sentimental pieces, this is a good score.

The level of detail is enough to satisfy even a sci-fi buff as myself, and the more attention you pay, the more fun it is. Even the special effects and cinematography are most satisfying. I do admit though that if you never saw Star Trek and have no clue who Robby the Robot is, there is really nothing here but Rickman's hardships and some set-pieces. The story follows a very familiar pattern and the same ups and downs and learning-curves as one usually sees in most comedies. Particularly towards the end when comedy is replaces by suspense/action, "Galaxy Quest" loses interest as it no longer plays to its strengths.

For us nerds, however, there are plenty of chuckles and recognizing nods. Even a couple of laughs!

6/10

Don't look now (1973)

In perhaps one of the most chilling and startling intros of the decade, a mesmerizing Sutherland conveys such brutal emotions, so brilliantly directed as to almost cover the hints of the supernatural by Roeg, shifting focus effectively.
After this introduction the movie normalizes, with the odd scene here and there leaving a hint of mystique and nerve. It does leave a constant expectation of something dark, keeping the viewer at the edge of the seat.
Sutherland was never the shy type and the movie has sex-scenes a lot more explicit than what was common at the time, perhaps even a bit much for today. Thus making them quite legendary. In addition, the scenes are very nicely crosscut to show the importance of a good shag for a couple stricken by tragedy.
Roeg gradually builds a wall of two old women and numerous bottles between Sutherland and Christie as darkness lurks, and sneaks ever closer. He is trying desperately to cope and she is trying just as hard to find hope, their interaction more than good enough to make it heartbreaking to watch.
The movie lost some interest to me in the later stages, as there is mainly a lot of running around looking scared and confused but all in all it is understandable that this is regarded as a classic in its genre. The end game is marvelously cut and brings the film to a clever end. Considering what a travesty this genre has turned into, I would recommended to all just to see what these movies were once about.

7/10

The Peacemaker (1997)

Now this was a movie for all who enjoy beautiful people (Clooney even sporting several uniforms) trying to save the world.

Though this movie is nowhere near a classic, it still provides some fun. The repertoire between Clooney and Kidman is not bad, though Clooney is given most of the panache and solutions, so it hardly makes for an even match between the pair. That Kidman is most efficient and in her own (somewhat boring) way brilliant never amounts to the same interest.

The political angle is decent yet far from original. The military parts even better, with extreme tempo and quick decisions (until one is very needed).

An extra bonus is the suspense in action-scenes. They are mostly very effective and light up the screen when applied, whether it's strictly military, racing big German cars in Vienna or sniping on Manhattan (the end-scene is a bit tedious though).

The villain, however, remains somewhat of a problem. The director, Mimi Leder, apparently tries to make him a character with whom the audience can relate, and fails. You really don't and he just comes across as a lunatic despite all the time spent explaining his motives.

Hans Zimmer arguably wrote some of his best music for this film. And the use of Chopin as part of the villain's explanation is absolutely and remarkably brilliant.

Armin Mueller-Stahl brings his usual grace to his part and makes for a brilliant Russian colonel but his role is short and when Devoe in the apt hands of George Clooney is the only character we can really relate to, Leder fails to make this much more than one-dimensional action. And as that, this is quite sufficient.

6/10

Midnight in Saint Petersburg (1996)

It could appear that the two late installments in this series was to groom Jason Connery for a future like his dad's. There would be few other reasons to cast him and his character is rather daft, regularly making stupid mistakes. He doesn't even know how to tell the damsel to stay in the car. Generally, the acting is poor, and it mars the story as well as the characters.

Another nuisance is the sloppyness. In the first scene Palmer complains of circuses being fake and tedious but after this he is constantly shown as marveling at the show and utterly enjoying himself.

This film is better than its predecessor in story though. Some fight-scenes are also quite decent, but then I always was a sucker for the thug-fest (epitomized with Shaw vs Connery in "From Russia with Love") rather than the swirls and screams. Besides: A scene where a dog steals a bomb before running away with it and you hear a curious cat before the bomb goes off... And seconds later the dog comes back; there is some great humor in that!

Then... There's Palmer. You just can't go wrong with Michael Caine and he does deliver here. Perhaps not at his best, but more than enough to provide some smirks and moments of utter coolness.

4/10

Bullet to Beijing (1995)

It only takes a few seconds to see a huge loss from the early installments: The lack of Guy Doleman as Ross. The replacement has nowhere near the same calm, arrogant and bureaucratic malice as the irregularly unpleasant Ross.

The plot is an old and familiar one, with Palmer getting axed with no regard for all previous efforts.

That's not the only re-visit of the genre though. There is a mysterious blonde man lurking (Jason Connery) and if women are beautiful they should all be dealt with very carefully.

Palmer still has the quizzical, dry wit whilst keeping cool, though it's regularly taken too far. At those times he seems much like a young brat asking "why is that?" to every answer provided. In the beginning he almost seems a bit of a fool, in over his head. It is given a bit of meaning later on though, as Palmer is clearly confused by the "private order" rater than knowing who all parties are and who they work for.

Both Palmer and the movie eventually find a path they can relate to, but by then it's a bit late

The music is truly awful and adds nothing even close to suspense, and the director could have needed it, as the action-sequences lack a great deal. Unlike the earlier installments, there isn't much of a build-up here and they immediately start a long chase-sequence that fails in every conceivable way.
A strange treat is the fun in seeing car-chases involving only crappy Eastern-European cars though. The sounds are a wee bit different than that of the american V8's.

It's very amateurish and never a good sign when the producers pay a well-known actor for 2 scenes and headlining them. Such is Michael Gambon in "Bullet to Beijing". Not a brilliant cameo, just a bad publishing stunt. And it adds little.

This installment is the very definition of flogging a dead horse. Unnecessary.

3/10