Rogue One (2016)

Disney would appear to mean business as both Mads Mikkelsen and Forest Whitaker appear within seconds, showing off some big names. Kudos also to Ben Mendelsohn for doing his finest Ian McKellen impersonation.

As there are no familiar characters from the last movie, it starts disjointed and a frankly a bit messy. Cross-cutting between many characters in different positions is best left to characters where you have already established an interest amongst the viewers. Such as the finale in Lucas' last instalment.

There are many highpoints though. The CGI to re-introduce Admiral Tarkin is sublime and Guy Henry's voice is pitch-perfect. And old characters in cameos are always fun, though you know that is determined by the evil marketing-department at Disney. That goes for all the many, many nods to he earlier installments, large and small. And still Storm-troopers are utterly useless whenever shooting at anyone known to the audience.

A low-point would be the peculiar choice of Michael Giacchino as the new composer. He has made very few epic scores and this blends poorly with the old excerpts from Willams' former work. Surely there were better options available for the amount of money they had available?

Generally, the characters are not as interesting and charming as last time around, meaning interest is fading. Nor is their development particularly good, even for a George Lucas-franchise. As for robots, I love Alan Tudyk, but his robot is just a reason to miss Anthony Daniels more. Chirrut Îmwe is a particularly dull Jedi with dialogue so horrible, not even the fortune-cookie companies would be able to shove it in their products without shame. And he repeats his lame catchfrase like a bad episode of Teletubbies.

There is of course plotting and bravery a plenty with the formulated action every 12 minutes, but we've seen it before now. Many times. Particularly the problematic shield and the hail Mary's.

Lucas' franchise originally had some of the same flaws, but there was always plenty of charm and (only in the oldest trilogy) a spark between the characters. This has neither. The ending is fantastic, though. A part from the last 10 seconds which is so mind-numbingly stupid and unnecessary you almost need to weep.


As the franchise moves on, it seems wise of all A-name actors to insert a death-clause in their contract.

4/10