Thunderball (1965)

Bond whispering at a funeral... How unlike him and mundane. But wait! The man wasn't dead and a big fight ensues! And off by jet-pack it is, straight to the beloved Aston Martin (and a beautiful woman of course). All in a few minutes Much, much better. Generally, there is a lot of assassinations and attempted such the first 30 minutes.

Director Terence Young takes a bit of effort trying to let us get to know SPECTRE, and succeeds in showing them as an extremely callous organization, highly structured with much loyalty demanded, and absolutely no slip-ups tolerated. Under penalty of death. The problem with it is that Largo seems a bit weak compared to the actions of the not-seen Blofeld. He does feed failures to sharks though, and that is a most wanted trait in a villain. Particularly when he would much rather use them to give Bond a chance to escape instead of just shooting him. 

Bernard Lee gets a bit more meat on the bone as M, with high-ranking politicians involved, showing a fierce loyalty towards Bond, when he's not there. Connery seems a bit bored this time around, and particularly his flirting is off. He even has to blackmail himself to the first round. His interaction with Adolfo Celi as Largo in a card-game (thankfully no more golf) is impeccable, though. 

Somehow the special effects seem poorer than previous instalments, and particularly the action-scenes seem to have been done at 1.25 of regular speed, making them seem a bit silly. Thunderball does well on mystique, tension and the spy-like sneaking about though. And Barry has a magnificent score to help along. Pay particular attention to the build-up to Volpe's death. Masterful suspense. 

The real treat of this instalment however, is the underwater scenes. Whether the huge underwater battle (epic for its time) or just Bond and girls swimming with turtles, they are astonishing.

So it doesn't have the same charm as the two that preceded it, but it's still a solid piece of work

7/10

Best car used: Aston Martin DB5

Most memorable drink served: Dom Perignon 55.

Henchmen: Fiona Volpe, a beautiful but somewhat easy to forget character that dies rather early. 

Villain: SPECTRE number 2, Maximilian Largo

Best one-liner. "I think he got the point"

Song: Tom Jones. The big voice from Wales with a big brass section to dramatic effect. One of the best. 

Bond-girl: Claudine Auger as Domino. Seems a bit of a continuation of Tilly Masterson from "Goldfinger". Not particularly memorable

Goldfinger (1964)

Bond in scuba-gear emerging from the water, killing a guard, climbing a castle wall and planting a massive amount of explosives, before stripping straight to a tuxedo and entering a party. Was there ever a more fitting start to a Bond-flick. Naturally, there is time for a girl and a brawl before the vignette.

One of the first actions of Bond is to piss off Goldfinger (who was the first to have a golden gun) in a most petty and unnecessary way. Though this time it comes at a cost as it directly leads to the infamous death of Jill Masterson.

Connery is his usual flamboyantly deadly self, and most flirtatious, first with Lois Maxwell as Moneypenny in a very entertaining scene. The gem of his chemistry is the stable-scene with Honor Blackman though. Fröbe is an absolute treat with Blackman the resourceful, but persuadable damsel we've come to enjoy. The idea of a functioning mute with a deadly accurate hat is amazing and Sakata does it marvellously (and has great expressions and an even better death).

This flick also is the first to show off the Q-branch apart from just Q himself. As Q gives Bond a lot more information than he wants, Bond brings out the petulant child in his character, starting the banter that would carry on for decades.

Instead of a decent game of gambling, Bond and Goldfinger have a game of golf. As usual the villain will cheat and Bond will outsmart them. Despite Goldfingers pants, this game of golf is actually quite worthy of your time. He does get back at him with the legendary: "No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die" though. Not to mention setting the perfect example for an unnecessarily elaborate death to be escaped.

The plot is of course nonsensical (though Fröbe and Connery really sells it in a delightful scene), even for a Bond-film, but it all makes sense nonetheless, to the extent it has to. Director Hamilton finds a wonderful pace, with just the right blend of action, plot and tension. The car chases are immense, the gadgets inventive and effective, and it has a great villain, henchman and love interest with a fantastic score to boot. And there are still some moments of good old cleverness and detective-work, as all spy-movies should have. After "FRWL" and this, it would take 50 years before they managed to make something as good as this for Bond.

9/10

Best car used: Aston Martin DB5. There never was a better Bond-vehicle
Most memorable drink served: Dom Perignon 53, but also his signature Dry Martini. (Mis)treated to a Mint Julep.
Henchmen: Harold Sakata as Oddjob is one of the finest and most beloved henchmen with his deadly bowler.
Villain: Gert Fröbe as Auric Goldfinger. Dubbed but still one of the more memorable.
Best one-liner: "Shocking. Positively shocking"
Song: Shirley Bassey. "Goldfinger". There was hardly a better match than Bassey and Barry. And this is their best collaboration. Perhaps the best of the entire series.
Bond-girl: Honor Blackman is a straight 10. Sexy, deadly and seductive like none other.

From Russia with Love (1963)

A live training assassination by a vicious blond thug in the shape of Richard Shaw as Grant. Eeeeeexcellent intro.

To have a henchman introduced by winning at chess, is also a stroke of genius. Particularly as he is so brilliant at it that he can win whenever it suits him. And it does give credence to what is one of the finest plots of the franchise. To top off the list of henchmen with the little, but lethal Rosa Klebb, just shows how strong an instalment this is.

The characters in general have much more meat on the bone, and makes the movie as such all the stronger in most scenes, giving it many legs to stand on. Even Bonds helper, Kerim Bey, is a fine part, with his own life, wisdom, pride and agenda played to perfection by Pedro Armendariz. Armendariz, sadly, died before the film's release.

The film furthermore has the debut of Desmond Llewellyn as Q (with very fun gadgets) and something as rare as a re-occurring love interest from the previous instalment in Sylvia Trench. Connery is growing into the part, finding a better balance in a movie that is, on the whole, more serious and dark than Dr. No.

As usual there is stunning, exotic scenery. The scenes from the gypsy camp are, of course, legend. And at least what they're cracked up to be. There never was a better and more intense catfight than here and the gunfight and melee that ensues is top notch for its time.

FRWL takes place in the sixties, and naturally there are plenty of dark alleys, secret meetings taking place in dark corners of busy buildings and many shadows lurking. All done expertedly and mostly with huge suspense.

The action is also state of the art, the fight-sequence between Shaw and Connery a particular highlight, that would set the bar for later fights. A claustrophobic fight in a dark, small room between two grown men with knives and garrottes. That they rip off North by Northwest towards the end must be forgiven, as the last fight with Klebb is fantastic. The little maid with the poisonous shoe-tip being fought off by Bond and a chair. You can't make this shit up.

9/10

Best car used: 1935 Bentley Drophead coupe. Bond never drives any car though.
Memorable drink served: None
Henchmen: Grant, Klebb, Kronsteen. Perhaps the best of the series
Villain: Blofeld, though never visible apart from the petting of the cat.
Best one-liner: She should have kept her mouth shut
Song: Matt Monroe - Fantastic bit of crooning, perfect for Barry's sound
Bond-girl: Daniela Bianchi - A bit demure but utterly lovely and actually a rare feature as she is an integral part of the plot.

Dr. No (1962)

Ah. The majestic riff of John Barry (Or Monty Norman, I won't get into that here). Was there ever such a defining piece of music? And let me answer that for you: No.

The "Three Blind Mice" makes for a riveting introduction and with a swift assassination at a very exotic location, we are off to a good start. With Bond introduced gambling, stating his name only his second line. Genius.

Connery is suave on the verge of comedy seen in these days, but his appeal and danger are both undeniable from the first scene. Charming when it suits him, violent and deadly to men and women alike when he has to be. He even shoots an unarmed man from point blank. Truly the killer Ian Fleming created. Not to mention ridiculously flirtatious.

The introduction of characters is generally fantastic here, and the Bond-Girl Honey Rider (Ursula Andress) is the stuff of legend. So great they made a remake with Halle Berry 40 years later. Even for an early Bond-girl, she is a spunky one. She is introduced too late to make any impact though, and mostly strengthens the feeling that all characters are props for 007 to shine as different henchmen and girls (some both) come and go.

As a villain Dr. No is introduced in a futuristic and strange room only through a calm and callous voice. As most early villains he is very courteous until Bond starts provoking him, but Dr. No doesn't really fall for Bond's petulant attempts. Joseph Wiseman plays him with great stoicism. 

Made in 1962, this flick still has plenty of low-tech smartness that Bond uses throughout and with the recent explosion (pun intended) of CGI instead of script, it's quite titillating for the brain to see a spy that's actually smart and thinking on his feet. It doesn't have the set-pieces Bond-flicks were later known for but there is suspense and action in decent doses.

It has some pace-issues at times, but all in all this is a fine start to perhaps the most successful franchise in Hollywood to date.

And in closing: What's Bond without a bit of trivia?

Best car used: 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air
Best drink served: Medium dry martini, lemon peeled, mixed, not stirred
Henchman: No one of note
Villain: Dr. No representing SPECTRE
Best one-liner: "That's a Smith & Wesson. And you've had your six."
Bond-girl: As good as they come.

7/10

Logan (2017)

The trailer was one of bleakest things I've ever seen and very bold with its low pace and depressingly sad tune. So does it deliver as promised? To an almost startling degree. General and extreme spoiler-alert.

It starts off with an utterly run down Wolverine, dishing out some worryingly brutal force, though far from with his usual panache and confidence. More like a force of habit, and because it is all he knows. Wolverine, as ever, the hero that tries so hard not to be, but always seems to be in the wrong place at the right time, helping the right people. Then, entrance Professor X. A shadow of himself, rapidly losing his mind and being cared for by Wolverine in an old factory, helped only by the aesthetically and otherwise shadow of a man, Caliban. All friends are gone. There are no uniforms, no air-planes and certainly no usable powers to speak of between them.  Only the prospect of scraping together money and medicine in a dusty outworld. Then it all gets much, much worse.

The introduction of Dafne Keen as Logan's daughter-in-genes and the dignified optimism of Patrick Stewart carries a glimmer of hope, particularly in a sweet scene with a mid-west family, but it is all taken away as one of the most beloved characters in Marvel is stabbed to death in a heartbeat. No honour, no dignity. Just cold death.

This flick is absurdly violent for its pace and it sets up the depressing mood perfectly. The violence is disturbing and uncomfortable to watch, director Mangold taking full usage of his R-rating. Mangold has full focus on making superhero-violence as bloody and realistic as possible, only trying to be cool once (and succeeding). From start to finish (with the two aforementioned exceptions) this film is quite frankly hard to stomach. The wounds are scarily real, with both Stewart and Jackman having bloodshot eyes in almost every scene and generally look ready for death physically and mentally.

Jackman has played this part so many times, he can probably sleepwalk it. But he does, like his character, have enough in him for one last push, one desperate attempt at redemption. His somewhat tired and subdued rage blending with the occasional extreme desperation and lack of hope. Stewart never could avoid being brilliant and Keen is just the perfect blend of disturbed, seeking and bitter. Holbrook is a bit dull though.

The pace is much slower than we've gotten used to lately and Mangold has great patience with his story and characters, few as they may be. It works a charm. The general slow pace makes the suspense much better, and has the viewer on very uncomfortable pins and needles as the plight of the protagonists hit you. None more than the last scene of Jackman and Keen. Wolverine his rugged, cold self until the last but two seconds. Another devastating scene to witness.

Combined with the sheer emotional fatigue of so much hopelessness, evil, despair, brutality and sacrifice, it's a film that is as easy to love as it's painful to watch.

9/10

The Children Act (2017)

When BBC produces a film, you certainly would expect it to be something others would be unwilling to pay for. And that it is.

For me, it's enthralling in today's filmmaking that it is ridiculously slow-paced. Director Eyre has no qualms with lingering, making the best of his excellent cast. Regularly, he will use several seconds more than usual to show someone walk down a hall, think, remove their shoes or other seemingly insignificant actions. If you pay attention though, they are nowhere near that. Today, when films are mostly exhausting to watch, due to the extreme pace, BBC's money has certainly allowed Eyre to be brave, making something that forces the audience to show patience and attention.

The cast is delectable. Emma Thompson excels as the workaholic, that has lost touch with her surroundings as she delves ever deeper into her work. Stanley Tucci is a very underrated actor, and is perfect as the husband that tries so hard to get his marriage and wife back. Eyre never falls for the temptation of making him a stereotype, cheating bastard, and Tucci delivers a marvellous character, with his own shortcomings, but a highly understandable attitude towards his estranged marriage. This is by far the best element of the film.

Unfortunately it all takes a somewhat strange backseat as Thompson meets a patient over which she has to give ruling (The very good Ben Chaplin). Their first scene together is brilliant, but after a while, their relationship fails to really find its way or relevance, leaving you wondering what Eyre is trying to show or learns us.

The story is also brave in the sense that if you've watched many movies earlier, you think you know what the next logical step is. But Eyre is not interested in any of that. Leaving some viewers feeling cheated, whereas the rest of us like that not every film has to take the same direction when dealing with the same issue.

So all in all, it has a fantastic slow pace that allows you a different experience from mainstream these days. And Jason Watkins provides the most British comical relief in decades. Many hats off to him.

It doesn't quite seem to find it's theme though. After an enthralling start, it takes a left turn, and doesn't really find it's way back.

7/10

Ocean's Eight (2018)

So after 20 years of George Clooney as Danny Ocean, is this a cool, liberating version with women showing they’re just as good? Or a hash instalment made of left-over scripts to beat the last pennies out of a concept that should have been buried?

It’s the latter, unfortunately, and all women should be a bit insulted.

First of all. Where is the chemistry? There isn’t a single pairing here that sizzles on screen. At first glance it appears that they try to establish a homoerotic connection between Bullock and Blanchett, but as they wanted to market this film as strong women doing just as good what men (apparently) do, they wisely chose to lay off that one. The laziness of the script is sincere at all corners. If you ever saw any other film, there will be no script grip you haven't seen hundreds of times before.

And the marketing department really made the director their bitch here. Bullock and Blanchett are sellable as big names as well as brilliant actresses. Other than that they seem to cast by race to appeal to all viewers and throw in Rihanna as her fans are probably willing to accept anything. And you just know they have to show off everyone (including the two that seem to frown upon such things) in beautiful dresses. Even when it makes a direct whole in the plot. I don’t see how more women in dresses at parties are empowering as the add promises. And not a single one of the characters get enough of a background to make them particularly interesting, Sarah Paulson’s Tammy particularly lazily written.

I heard some pre-teen girls giggle behind me a couple of times, and I can remember snickering and grinning twice myself. Other than that, the humour is well below adequate. And with the cast they had, why would they not trust them to make jokes? The original excelled on snappy, smart dialogue that made the film a constant grin. There is nothing in the script here to give the girls a chance to keep that going. And whereas the men’s instalments had revenge of an economic nature, the girl is of course “a woman scorned”. Another poor stereotype. Horribly written and told without any logic or depth. And I understand that this is not a film about depth. But it should be deep enough for a chihuahua to wet its tongue.

And of course, when the heist (undeniably cool and slick) is over, the franchise is true to itself with two very unnecessary twists whereof one is daft and the other is only a surprise for people who have never seen a caper-film before, or are simply too stupid to recognize a pattern. And they saved every good line for James Corden, as he appears very late in the game.

The soundtrack is mostly awful, with a horrid version of “These Boots are made for Walking” a low-point. Other than that it’s mostly overly “cool” and exhausting jazz with some annoying rhythm. A couple of cool tracks, more inspired by baroque and 60’s synth do appear though.

In the name of equality; I hope the female stars got paid as much as the men did. Because the script and direction certainly made them work for it. Hollywood’s finest actresses (and all the others on display here) deserve better than a franchise milked dry by older men.

If you want strong women and cool theft, you’re infinitely much better off with Rene Russo in “The Thomas Crown Affair”.

3/10