Transformers II - Revenge of the Fallen

In my opinion the second in a trilogy is often the best. The characters develop and there is usually darkness afoot (i.e. The Two Towers and The Empire Strikes back). The Revenge of the fallen, though is a bigger disappointment than Hellboy II and The Matrix Reloaded.

Why in the sweetest, holiest hell do they start this movie with a voice-over explaining things that inn all essence were explained with broad strokes in the first installment? Naturally, this flick has just as predictable and dull an opening as the first.

LaBeouf is still a whimpering, stressed out and unlucky idiot, same as last. He sucks in every single scene he enters, regardless if he wants to do Megan Fox, dump Bumblebee, calm his mother or not be killed.

Then there's the support cast. All scenes with the family are actually a lot worse this time. Out of place in every conceivable way, adding nothing of anything, leaving me angry or annoyed every single time. Fox is still sizzling, but Bay makes her overdo it in such a fashion that you're just waiting for a plumber to show up to "fix her sink". Horrible.
The caricatures are so obvious and overused it's almost sickening: The bureaucrat asshole hassling the Autobots and soldiers (naturally a wimp when push comes to shove), the nerdy, paranoid roommates, the arrogant professor in his class, the consistent worst of all possible timings, the "cool" dynamic duo (damn, they're annoying), hidden door found by dumb accident etcetc. You'll find more originality in a tomb filled with accountants than in this reeking turd.

The story is virtually non-existent, the characters unevolved, not to mention badly balanced (80% are overstressed and annoying whiners, just as the former movie), and even the humor is horrible. Michael Bay must be the only guy that can try to make fun of the French without making anyone laugh.

Do you remember Maximum Overdrive? It is a very, VERY bad movie. But the kitchen appliances- scene in this stinker makes me miss it.It's so stupid, poorly directed and filmed it leaves me absolutely stunned.

Oh. And Bay still spins the camera around just enough to make it impossible to really enjoy any of the fight-scenes between the robots. I would add a point for LaBeouf dying, but since Bay both uses his sun-shot by the face of Fox and LaBeouf is miraculously revived in a manner so lame that it begs belief, it is deducted with interest. Another debacle of a scene.

That there are robots, explosions and violence for all, just doesn't enter into it. I always meant that if anyone would be able to screw up something as cool as Transformer, Michael Bay was the perfect choice. He is. This movie is perhaps the dumbest pile of shit ever to be formed on the pavement. Everyone seeing it will need to re stabilize their IQ by reading a good book or perhaps just staring blankly at a white wall until the memories fade. Truly, utterly atrocious on every conceivable level.

1/10