Green Hornet (2011)

Over the years, many different superheroes have assumed many different types and characters. Superman is your boring boyscout, Batman and Wolverine your dark, lonely antihero, and some are just playful and funny (Iron Man and Deadpool). So say hello to Britt Reid, aka the Green Hornet. He's a self-righteous, stupid and egotistical douche. With no powers and no other skills.

Had he been for a short while and grown, it would have been predictable but OK. But in the hands of the inept Seth Rogen he is actually an outright jerk throughout. And a jerk that has his Asian sidekick do everything from make his perfect coffee to kick his asses for him.

Though director Gondry does fail miserably in both casting and building of character, it is nowhere near his only mistake. I have no idea what he is trying to do with Cameron Diaz here. Naturally both men want her, so we get an unnecessary and annoying drama done to death there. But she wants none of them, adds nothing to any part of the story, and generally seems like she is doing a voiceover for Tom & Jerry skit. Awful.

The story lacks any originality, the characters are bad and Christoph Waltz looks like Hugo Weaving in "Priscilla - Queen of the Desert". And without a good cast, or even a decent villain, this is bad. It does have an awesome car, and the very capable Cato makes the prop-department exert some creativity. And dark green filters make a rather cool stylistic view. But when you have to point that out as a redeeming trait, there really isn't enough.

Not as bad as "Fantastic Four", but Seth Rogen might have done the opposite for Green Hornet that Ryan Reynolds did for Deadpool, though ironically the same that Ryan Reynolds did for Green Lantern. Stay away

2/10

Jack Reacher (2012)

Delightfully enough, "Jack Reacher" starts on a rather slow, methodical (and grim) pace. After a decade of tiresome cartoon-based flicks with an action sequence every 12,4 minutes, any alteration is most welcome. Besides. It nicely sets up the main character, a no-nonsense Tom Cruise.

As Reacher is supposed to be huge, and Cruise is midget-material, the fans were understandably most sceptical to that piece of casting. It does make the shots that are supposed to make Cruise come off as massive, rather stupid, but all in all, Cruise is quite believable as the ex-soldier on a narrower scale. 

Generally, writer/director McQuarrie has a grim take on this, to the extreme in some scenes. As the rest of the film isn't quite as gloomy, they seem a bit separated from the story and theme. Perhaps Cruise as a figure just doesn't set the mood dark enough, particularly when interacting with the very innocent-looking crusader played by Rosamund Pike. Or perhaps the director has found all the pieces, but been unable to lay them perfectly.

And for a little gem; extreme kudos to James Martin Kelly and aforementioned Pike for a quite memorable scene with some real tension using minimal effects. Well written, well directed by Christopher McQuarrie. 

A more unwelcome distraction is the father/daughter dynamics between Pike and Richard Jenkins. It adds nothing of value, and has been done in half the mediocre thrillers and TV-shows made. And it is hardly given any time at all. Like an idea thrown into a room and not touched since. 

So the film is quite smart and has a very slow and steady pace for an action film, pulling that off nicely. Suspense is galore, and action a bit short, but fittingly so. It does, however, suffer a bit under a lack of consistency in theme and tone. But it is a decent watch, and you are not likely to ever hear better death-threats as there are some very serious dudes here. Riggs and mr. Joshua did have a better showdown in the rain though. 

7/10

Corpse Bride (2005)

25 years after Tim Burton had Henry Selick direct his childhood fantasies in the delectable "The Nightmare before Christmas", he returns to stop-animation. In true goth-style, with the protagonist being a female corpse. Oh my!

Or is she the protagonist? It is a bit refreshing with a film, where there is some uncertainty as to who really is the lead character. It seems so cut and dry early on, but Burton isn't one for the standards. But though original, it adds to the films main problem, as I shall get back to.

There's no surprise that Burton cast Helena Bonham-Carter. He always did. She is perfectly apt though. And can anyone remember a time he didn't cast Johnny Depp? The standouts are, however, Enn Reitel, Albert Finney, Joanna Lumley, Richard Gough, and, as always, Christopher Lee.

The animation is brilliant at most times, and the characters really come alive through them. Extra cudos for Elder Gutknecht, the Corpse Bride and Finis Everglot in that respect. Burtons eye for details is as always impeccable, and this flick is no exception. Watch out for a couple of great puns as well.

Elfman still has the perfect sound for a morbid musical, and particularly the piano-version of the main theme is gorgeous. Generally his musical antics are a brilliant match for the direction and theme, making the musical-numbers very entertaining. You can find a lot of his background from Oingo Boingo in this flick, particularly "The Remains of the Day", where Elfman also provides the vocals. The music doesn't work as well as "The nightmare before Christmas" when parted from the film, though there are a couple of real beauties.

The story and developing of characters (particularly Victor) lacks a bit here and there, and it seems a bit chaotic, both in single scenes, but also with the general storyline. That the spectre of animated figures is exceptionally wide ranged, doesn't help in that respect. But it's a little romance, a little tension and suspense, a dab of good humour and a whole lot of goth, and it is definitely something different. And that's never a bad thing

7/10

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Swapping directors 2/3 into a trilogy seems strange. And when you replace one of Hollywood's greatest talents with a guy most known for very bad action-comedies and music videos for even worse artists... well, that seems reckless.

The start is ominous simply because it stars McKellen and Stewart, but brings nothing. Well, nothing is a bit strong, as it brings an exceptionally poor use of editing to try and pass the pair off as young. They look more like old ugly women who overspent on botox and plastic surgery. Particularly Stewart.

It gets worse though. Some of the fight scenes are filled with stupid and unnecessary uses of powers where a simple "duck" will do. There are some creative uses, though, but it's painstakingly clear that Singer is smarter than Ratner in most action sequences.

The casting is still good, though. no changes to key characters, and Kelsey Grammar as a blue monster/Secretary is brilliant. Kudos also Ben Foster who makes the most out of a part that doesn't get enough screentime to be particularly exciting. Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut is exceptionally misplaced though. By taking on new faces, many of the remaining suffer. Particularly Rogue, who is little more than a prop until the last 30 minutes, but also Wolverine. Though the manner in which his tragedy lives on is quite fantastic. But when you forget who the trilogy was about, this film feels bereft of anything close to a conclusion to the trilogy as a whole. Which is doubly ironic, considering its title.

Ratner does try to keep a bigger picture here and some social awareness alive, but it's not done particularly effective or with the necessary subtlety, making the immense McKellen come off as cartoon-version of a North-Korean leader.

There are still some good scenes where Ratner hits a very fine note, such as the early scene with Stewart and Berry. Actually, he uses Storm much better than Singer managed. Where Jean realizes Phoenix is also quite magnificent suspense-building. The huge highlight is the final stand-off between Xavier and Jean, though. A perfect blend of action, suspense, fine CGI and drama, all coupled with a fantastic theme from John Powell, in an otherwise unremarkable score. That's a good 45 minutes from the end, though.

As Ratner is a significantly poorer director than Singer, he never manages a real flow to the story developing. Most of the time it just feels like he's flinging characters and elements of a whole we're not permitted to understand towards us. So a few good scenes doesn't make up for the fact that Ratner is a third-rate storyteller. Not by a long shot. And it's such a pity. The pieces were there, but the director failed to assemble them.

5/10

X2 (2003)

The second instalment in a trilogy should always be darker and better than the first. Better because you don't have to give the characters as much time to develop as in the first instalment, thus evolving them and giving you more time to focus on the story. And darker because, well, we all know the third movie will have a happy ending, so if you have some bleak scenes and dialogue (and you do), now is the time.

Whereas the first instalment took a while to do anything specific to the genre, this one shoots straight to a new character and some most CGI-friendly action. Terrific, but also vaguely unsatisfying as you'd rather see how the others are doing. Thankfully, it's just an intro.

There are quite a few newcomers, though, and perhaps fewer would have helped with the flow of the film. They are all given a decent amount of screentime and only most of them feel relevant. Particularly Nightcrawler is good distraction, and even adds some relevance to Storm, who suffered in the first instalment. Double kudos, though, to Brian Cox. In a flick where everyone but him have superinteresting superpowers, he represents a most genuine threat, and an intense and loathed adversary for the X-Men in general, and Wolverine particularly.

McKellen could downplay his role in the first, but here he shows off a lot more of the grandiose villain Magneto, and he revels in it. As earlier, his best scenes are slow, dialogue-based interactions with Patrick Stewart, though. The pair really glow together, as their common background and different goals pull them in opposite directions at almost every intersection despite all they have in common.

Singer still has a keen eye for details, letting us see how the characters use their powers in everyday situations, reminding us ever so gently that they are still mostly humans with a human take on life. A very nice piece of manipulation. He also tackles a rather touchy political subject without ever being too preachy or over-simplifying it. A most necessary feat if you want your audience to actually pay attention.

So is it darker? Undoubtedly. Both in mood, the death of key characters, in lighting and dialogue. You can simply read the screenplay of the scenes with McKellen and Stewart if you want to pick up that this is much more serious business. And you need to pay attention to all the scenes these two are alone, as they are the highpoint of these films.

Is it better? Not really, no. Even more characters and new interactions make a few holes. Particularly between Wolverine and Rogue who had brilliant chemistry in the first. You miss this, as they have precious few scenes together here. And a few of the characters feel like they're about to reach their expiration date. But it's still a very, very good superhero-flick


8/10

Fred Claus (2007)

Sometimes you can have a good idea and make a rather poor movie (Bruce Almighty), and other times you have a bad idea that still makes a very good movie (BASEketball). This film is what happens when you have a bad idea and even worse skills, so the result is just horrid.

But how can it be? This film stars Vince Vaughn, Kevin Spacey, Rachel Weisz, Paul Giamatti, Kathy Bates and the multi-talented Miranda Richardson? Surely some redeeming features must remain? Not really no. Vaughn is just an ass. And not a funny as like 2 scenes of Jim Carrey as The Grinch or 7 seasons of Hugh Laurie as Dr. House. Just a whining asshole that refuses to take responsibility for anything. As for the rest, they have either hugely uninteresting characters (Tim Allen had better dialogues as a Santa than Giamatti does here) or they're reduced to charicatures (Kevin Spacey, Kathy Bates). And most of the dialogue is either bickering or full-fledged quarreling. Exasperating. There is such a thing as balancing your cast, and here every single one is either a whining loser, or just a dick.

Oh! And if you're making a comedy: Some jokes would be nice. There aren't enough funny jokes here to feed a slug in an iron lung. The closest they come is a support group for people with famous brothers. Unfortunately, that also ends in a narcissistic rant, devoid of creativity and good jokes. I can't even remember having snickered during this flick and that is an exceptionally bad sign.

But there is still something that could save it! Does it have som Christmas spirit? Actually, yes. A very nice scene of about 45 seconds. Nicely set up, very fine acting by Giamatti and Richardson with just the right mood. What it lacks, though, is a believable and finely tuned transition as Christmas-hating protagonists need. Here, they just toss some morals together and hope nobody notices how poorly executed it is.

I hate Christmas myself, and I am still annoyed by how horrible this is. I can not for the life of me understand which audience they are trying to pass this off to. Surely not kids, as the tone is all wrong, and no grown man or woman would be stupid enough to accept this as quality. If there had been some good jokes, you could sell it to the crude and simple. As it is, this is perhaps the worst Christmas film ever made.


2/10

X-Men (2000)

Do you remember when there wasn't a superheromovie three times a year? When only true nerds knew who Green Lantern, Aquaman and the other loser-superheroes were? Back then, Bryan Singer actually had the audacity to make a flick about a bearded, cigar-puffing thug and his soon-to-be-friends. And since these films weren't a fad yet, he could do it well.

Singer immediately distances himself from the genre as a whole by making the first scene a historic one, from a Jewish concentration camp, heavy on tragedy and realism. To add to the reality, the scene as a whole is shot with very grey filters, in mud and rain. Practically bereft of colour. As an added bonus, the scene adds background to one of the characters. Now that is how you start a big-budget adventure (read this Michael Bay, you useless git).

It also plays to Singer's strength that he is able to create tension and thrills by many different methods, and on several different scales. It all feels genuine and exciting, and rarely boring. As the first of any instalment, there are many characters to introduce and that will wreak havoc with the flow of the film. At times, there is a bit little going on, and suddenly the story takes a leap.

It is immensely worth it though, as no superhero-flick has ever been cast as thoughtfully and fantastic as this. The pairing of McKellen (not a very known face before this) and Stewart is absolutely delectable and most of their scenes are a study in verbal sparring. There never were two more belivable leaders of a group than these two. Another great piece of casting is Anna Paquin. The perfect balance for a very unlikely mentor in Wolverine. And who could ever think of anyone but Jackman as Wolverine after this series? Marsden and Janssen are both good, as they have some relevance. Halle Berry is useless, though, and her character doesn't really fit into nor the story nor the other characters. Double kudos to Bruce Davison for playing a despicable politician with just the proper gusto, sneakiness, arrogance and megalomania to make it believable.

And since Singer is a good director, he actually has a plot here, and a story. Both good, and both developing nicely alongside the characters. Furthermore, the dialogue is refreshingly down to earth for this kind of film. It's also worth noting that the cinematography is very stylish and clean (apart from the aforementioned introduction), making it seem all the more futuristic.

This is the kind of film that has you dying to see the next, whereas standing firmly on its own two feet.

8/10